Recreational Outrage at Emojis! Comedy Open Mic Round #15

in #comedyopenmic7 years ago (edited)

Does this outrageous example of inequality between the sexes recreationally outrage YOU as much as it has me?

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Just how many ways do the emoji makers think they can get away with demonstrating their clear disdain for one gender in favor of the other?!?

And expressing their blatant sexism through fictional MER-PEOPLE,
those filthy bastards!

Like it's not bad enough in the real world...

Hey! Why not extend that disgusting chauvinism into imaginary land!

Real women don't have it bad enough...
Let's stick it to 'em some more!

We'll come up with some shitty drawings, ones that could have been laboriously sketched by Trump having a seizure in between tweets about CNN, to add a little extra SHINE to this unfortunate reality turd...

If your body isn't getting rocked with nausea and disgust over this blatantly sexist propaganda, let's break down how you've been hypnotized into acquiescence by those filthy, sexist animals who call the emoji factory their home:

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Let's examine the outrageous differences that didn't need to be there, but someone, somewhere, thought it would be a good idea to pretend that in mer-people society we've turned back the calendar a hundred years:

1) The Belly Buttons!

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Come on!
The male belly button is small and cute, you won't even find it unless you're looking for it.

The female belly button is the size of a small apartment building. It looks like her belly button was designed by evolution to provide a bullseye 🎯 , conveniently located in her center mass, for a helpful 'ease of execution' by underwater snipers hunting imaginary sea creatures.

Either that, or the drawerers compensated for the sea shells by giving her one great, big, surrogate nipple on the front of her body to 'balance' out the equation.

Objectification of Women!

Via her BELLY BUTTON!

Inexcusable.

WHY should the belly buttons be different?!? Society has reached a new low...

I'm so recreationally outraged I'm getting all sweaty again.

Moving down the list of filthy smut:

2) THEIR JEWELRY!

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Mermaid 🧜‍♀️ has a pretty necklace.

That's nice.

Merman gets:

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2 pretty pieces of jewelry?!?

(They aren't bracelets, and they're not necklaces. They're something literally in between).

Wouldn't ONE have been enough?

Oh, no, gotta one-up the LADY and give the fella TWO. ((😔))

The LAST, and most stomach-churning example of gender inequality I have ever witnessed in my ENTIRE LIFE, is the exact same thing I know is on all of your minds as well:

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That sweet, innocent, beautiful mermaid is being attacked by a starfish

EATING HER HEAD!

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Meanwhile, merMAN over here ain't letting nothing unsettle HIS swagger...
And why should he be worried?

HE SHITS TRIDENTS!

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There's the poor mer-chick, getting the blood drained from her face by some creepy bottom-dwelling monster with five arms, and she's all reaching behind her, desperately trying to crap out a can of mace, a rape whistle, or a roll of quarters (let's hope she doesn't find a gun -- that would NOT end well for her)...
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SIGH

Inequality is everywhere folks, and it's up to us, to STAND UP against the creeping doom of oppression. Concessions of any kind will take us back to biblical times...
When women weren't allowed to drive.

As we say in Canada 🇨🇦:
"If you give them an inch,
they will take a kilometer."

@scan0017 😘

I nominate @sjennon and @osm0sis, two powerful lady Steemians with whom I enjoyed heaps of laughs at SteemFest²!

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Yeah.. you know mankind is doomed if mermen get to shit tridents while mermaids only deserve to have their heads savagely eaten by killer starfish. Complete BS.

Your imagination never ceases to amaze buddy. I laugh imagining you sitting there if front of your chosen emoticon searching for those disgraceful hidden details to expose to the world. You're like our very own emoticon crime fighter.

What are you nominating me for? Am I supposed to make a funny post or something?

Lol thanks 😂
Have a look on my feed where I resteemed the Comedy Open Mic #15 post.
The rules are linked inside that post, easy enough, and have some fun!
Simply write an original funny post, resteem the comedy Open Mic post, etc: its all in there 👍
Looking forward to what you come up with 😊
Have a great week! 😀

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There's the poor mer-chick, getting the blood drained from her face by some creepy bottom-dwelling monster with five arms, and she's all reaching behind her, desperately trying to crap out a can of mace, a rape whistle, or a roll of quarters

Maybe she can throw her starfish like a shuriken!

Oh, totally!
They fly real good when you catch 'em napping and fling 'em like a Kumite contender...

When they're actively doing the head-munch shuffle they stick to their meal just too darn tight...

Gotta knock 'em unconscious first so they let go. 🧐

I was just ready to write an angry comment about damn feminists getting triggered at everything.. but you never addressed the elephant in the room!

I'm pretty sure the guy has no bellybutton which implies men are cloned.

The man isn't allowed to wear clothes but the woman is.

The guy has to carry that huge fork. He's probably holding it for the woman.

ARGGHHH!!!
How could I have been so blind?!?
Thanks for inspiring recreational outrage on the other side of the equation 😂

Life's ridiculous.
Have fun!
Laugh at the absurdity of it all 🤪 😉

Hey, accidentally sent you your prize twice. would appreciate it if you would send one back to the community account.

Absolutely.
2 SBD's have been returned with
"Honesty is the ONLY policy" in the comment ledger.
Thank you for all you do for us aspiring comedians!
🙂

Thank you.

Don't forget your entry in the coming round

so much attention to detail.

After so many days i am seeing your funny post with emojis.😍 Thanks for being back.😊

this is a very funny post, I am amazed with you, hopefully your day is pleasant and always healthy, I will restem to redeem your kindness, hope you can help me always my friend yes.

And why's the man not wearing a bra? This blatant inequality must stop

haha! @scan0017 you will not pass the emijoo maker easily you deeply analyzed between the male and femal emijoo haha smarting thanks for sharing resteemed!