How can we improve communication skills?

To put it simply, communication is a process in which participants express and discuss their own opinions, and finally try to make the viewpoints consistent.

The process of improving communication skills is not a one-step process. It needs to be dismantled into two capabilities and strengthened separately.

These two abilities are expressive and comprehensible.

 Many people in real life despise the role of understanding in communication behavior.

To give a simple example, one day your girlfriend said to you: "I saw an acquaintance in the hospital today." If your answer is: "Who?" The 80% will accept a socialist baptism of thought. In fact, the answer she wants to hear is: "Why are you going to the hospital?"

Therefore, in the process of communication, understanding and expression are equally important, and knowing ourselves and knowing each other can be a battle. Comprehension is a test of a person's control of details and understanding of human nature. It needs to be specifically analyzed for a specific object. This article will not be discussed first.

Mainly discuss the subjective and strong expression ability, I hope to help you.

What is the key to expressing ability? 

Is thinking

Language and behavior are just two conventional ways of outputting personal will, and what really determines the accuracy of expression is the ability of the brain to process, which is what we call thinking.

Many people do not think through the brain in the process of expression. They belong to an instinctive, subconscious, and conventional expression influenced by living habits.

Do not believe? Take a look at the following three questions

1. Did your recent exchanges involve knowledge that has not been explored before?

2. Have you expressed any views that are different from the previous three views?

3. Do you have enough confidence in every sentence you say to prove that it is correct?

In fact, in most cases, the answers to these three questions are all negative, because a person who has established a three-view is rarely able to output a point of view that is contrary to himself. Similarly, we rarely doubt the authenticity of our own values. So most people don’t think about innovation when they express themselves, just think about what they say by their own instincts.

How to use thinking ability to express?

Building a thinking framework

Composition as a common form of expression, there are many logical frameworks that can be applied to practice for our reference. The most common example here is the golden rule of writing: 

what is it - why - how to do it

For example, one day your daughter ran over and told you: Dad, I saw a female classmate sneaking up today smokes.

If your answer is "Don't learn well at a young age, don't learn her." This is a subconscious expression of opinion.

But if you use your own thinking to express it, it will naturally build the framework.

My daughter told me that she has a classmate who smokes (what is it). Why did she tell me this?

If you just want to prove that you are more ignorant, it is very likely that she is also involved, or want to participate in it, now I am testing my attitude (why)

Telling her that this is not cool, give a few examples to tell her about the dangers of smoking, and then tell her the consequences of being discovered by the school, but don't let her feel that you are suspecting her (how to do it)

Above, we can find that expression is indeed based on understanding, and the way of thinking framework is more likely to lead to brain thinking, making us more comprehensive.

Of course, the thinking framework is not single, you can choose the appropriate framework to fill according to the specific situation.

For example, when reporting work, you can first divide the total score, first talk about the total score of your work during this time, and then report the results one by one.

When you praise a person, you can suppress it first. You can talk about this person's small shortcomings half-jokingly, and then praise his advantages to form a sharp contrast and magnify the advantages.

When sorting out money, it needs to be divided into categories. Today's expenditures and incomes need to be differentiated according to type, clothing, beauty, diet, transportation, and so on.

The creation of the thesis needs to be deeper and deeper, from shallow to deep, the logic should be clear, what to say first, what to say later, and to be supported by examples.

In short, the meaning of the thinking framework is to let you predict all the details and concise expressions. In a way, this is also a process of forcing yourself to think and summarize. Without the instinctual expression, communication will inevitably become more comprehensive and accurate.

When you build a thinking framework to express your habits, you don't need to do mechanical frame filling, but you will naturally associate with all aspects of related ideas. The more accurate the expression, the more convenient it is to communicate naturally.