RE: Day 35- Selfie Freewrite Celebration Contest - Prize 112.497 SBD
Super high effort selfie right here. Yay.
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We’re all (basically) made from the same mold. “Carbon-based life forms” is what you hear in sci-fi movies, I guess. But, you know—skin, bones, blood, muscle, whatever else. I’m a materialist at heart, and I can’t say I see much of a difference in what makes us keep going every day, though some of us choose to stop at some point. It’s sad, I know.
I was going to go somewhere with that, but I don’t have much to say, really. This competition is starting to drive me a little crazy. It’s a fundamental flaw in me as a human being; I have a hard time committing to anything for very long. Well, it’s not so much a commitment problem. It’s more of an attention problem. I get SUPER into whatever I’m doing, and then the amount of energy I can put in starts to wane. I found this site and it was a good thing to fixate on. Comment more! Do more! Enter more contests! You can make a few cents here and there. It’s so addictive; the allure of getting something for nothing. Well, rather, something for something you have always thought was worth nothing. But the idea of getting nothing for so much something is a great deterrent to quitting something like, 35 days into it.
Someone told me yesterday that it’s “scientifically proven” that if you do something every day for 27 days, that it becomes a habit. This was in the context of getting in the good habit of working out. I’ve worked out for 27 days straight before on more than one occasion, and I’ve done this for 35 and the habit seems to be wearing off, and I can’t say I’ve worked out at any point over the last week either. Am I the only one who is starting to wear out? I know there are a couple of people in here who have written a freewrite a day every day for like a year at this point, so I’m assuming this is no biggie to you, and please accept my most sincere praises that you’re so dedicated.
Sorry to be so cranky today; it’s misdirected frustration, and I apologize sincerely to this comment box and anyone who has reading it if my negativity has infused your day in any way.
I have such a commitment issue when it comes to doing stuff to. Even things I don't Have to do, if it becomes routine I struggle. Years ago when I first moved to SD I started to a Monday night Drunk Poets society at this local bar, and it was just to get myself out to read for my first time. Literally a 5 minute walk and and hour and half of having drinks and reading poetry and by the third week I started to feel like a chore haha. To go and drink and read poetry hahah. So I totally get it. i'm surprised I made it this far in this, but I've been so depressed that i just have this as like my one thing to do as a very simple, can't fail because its not being judged outside of the doing, maybe 25 minutes tops plus some extra reading, mini solid lifeboat in my weird wobbly day to day lol. And yeah some days my brain has nothing cool to say, like its just blank , which is a weird feeling for me too. And don't worry, your bad attitude didnt rub off on me ;)
Aw, I'm sorry to hear you're going through so much, and I'm here to talk if you need a sympathetic ear (as cliched as that sounds). I figured based on what you've been writing that it's been a hard time for you. I actually have an easier time doing stuff like this when I'm depressed too, as counter-intuitive as that sounds. I can dedicate myself to a project because it helps drown out the noise and makes me feel like, maybe I feel awful inside, but at least I have tangible accomplishments. It's generally unsustainable though. :/
Yeah, it isn't sustainable, something has to change. It's been a very long few years, lots of crap, so need to shake it off. I'm on my way to Bali today for a month to cry in the temples and write for a video game project, and my bf will be moving out while I'm gone. I can already feel a huge weight . I don't think its cliche to offer to chat to someone you empathize with, and i may take you up on it, It's always nice to know. And Same with @freewritehouse... If I wasn't leaving I might take you up on chicken therapy lol
Hugs to you. Do you want some chicken therapy? I have cute little baby chicks to watch :)
I can dedicate myself to doing something for a long period of time, as long as I don't hit a 'goal' persay. Like losing weight, I can stick to it for months, but as soon as I hit my goal, I can't stick with the diet/fitness routine anymore. At all. Or if I want to write a book or chart something every day for 6 months or whatever, I'm great until the SECOND I reach my goals, then I'm done and can't seem to stick to it ever again.
I wanted to do this just to force myself to write every day. The freewrites seem to give me really good jumping off points for longer stories and that is what I've been wanting to do. I want to write longer stories and publish ebooks, so I thought this challenge might at least force me into the habit of thinking about creative writing every day. It has been doing wonders, but I'm kind of feeling distracted by it at this point. I keep wanting to go off and do other types of writing, but we've come this far, I don't want to quit!
BTW, an old boyfriend told me a similar thing with the '27 days' in that if you said something x amount of times your brain would believe it. He wanted me to say "I love you" to him that many days in a row to prove that it didn't work, because he thought it would.
Ha. I think my comment is longer than my freewrite.
Eeesh... that "I love you anecdote." Oof. I'm sorry to hear that. :/
I actually feel what you're saying about the jumping off point. For days 1-20ish of this I was like a writing machine. I was writing so many cool little short stories that people were enjoying and I didn't even realize before this that I was capable of writing fiction! But I think I'm starting to tap out now that it's feeling like a chore, and that creativity I had at first is starting to wear down. I really want to keep going so I can show myself I can complete it. I just don't know if we're too far away from the end that I could really consider this the "home stretch."
Right? I hear you and keep wondering if I should just move on with my other writing projects. I just think "But I've put all of this time in already!"
Believe it or not - I can relate. Personally, I go in spurts. I get deep into something and become a mini-expert. Then, I go on to the next thing. Often, I come back to something but hate the routine and upkeep.
I am actually surprised that I have done the daily prompt for that long. But if I wouldn't start something new around it - like the freewrite house or this contest, I think I would give up. Anyways, I put the 50-day limit because there is no way in the world that I wanted to administer this thing for longer than that 🤪
I think a lot of creative people are that way..... Just saying :)
I think you're right. Most of the creative people I know have those "mini-expert" spurts and get to 90% completion on the projects they start, and then really struggle to get to 100%.
Yeah, you really locked yourself into this one, huh? :) I have a much easier time sticking with something if there are other people depending on me. I'm sure I would have a much easier time getting to day 50 here if someone else was relying on me to do it.
One day at a time...
Yep, me too. To such an extreme that my poor husband just tries to keep up. He is always unfailingly supportive, but he'll really start to get into something and then I'm just, "Oh, yeah. I don't want to do that anymore!" (Like he learned all about set building, lighting and computer stuff for the theater I did, the plays I wrote and directed, even joined the local community theater board of directors... That was one of my longest lasting things, I did that for almost 8 plays, but the last two I knew I shouldn't have done and thus the whole experience was so awful that I don't even want to ATTEND anything at a theater anymore! I find that I have to listen to myself on these things and I'm not good at that because I don't want to 'just quit'. :/
I'm also not very good at balance!
You can do this!!! We are almost there... 💕💖 💓 💗
I know... it's just... like, two more weeks. Two weeks is a long time...
@malloryblythe In a blink of eye.. two weeks will be gone ❤️