ME ME ME

This is all @kiwideb's fault - she twisted my arm and forced me to do a me me me post...

I promise not to nominate anyone else for the 11 facts about me, one of which isn't true challenge.

These are mostly from the dark ages when I was a mad cunt, long before I became a boring old fart.

If you can be arsed, see if you can guess which one is bollocks!

UPDATE

The lucky winner was @artzanolino who was the only one to correctly pick the lie.

Explanations now added in italics

ALL IS REVEALED - https://steemit.com/contest/@sift666/the-big-lie-exposed

TEN FACTS ABOUT ME (AND ONE LIE)

I have ridden more than 10 000 different bicycles.

TRUE - for two years I was working in a bike shop test riding all the new bikes and a lot of the major repairs - so typically over 20 bikes a day, five days a week, 50 weeks a year - 20x5x50x2 =10 000. Then I started my own bike shop and did lots more for nine years. At least another 45 000. So 55 000 different bikes would be a conservative estimate! 10 000 is just the tip of the iceberg

I drank my own urine every day for a month and four people copied me.

TRUE - it's really not hard and nearly everyone wanted to try doing it. It tastes like warm Aussie beer

When I was a teenager I had a 67 Valiant with a fully worked race engine out of a speedway car.

TRUE - it had a 300HP HEMI six with full race cam and six into one straight pipe. But it had no non-engine modifications and still had drum brakes. The warrant of fitness was fake and it was a totally illegal deathtrap. If there is a god he was looking out for me, because somehow I got away with it

I went to a concert with seven joints in my pocket and smoked the lot

LIE - that is utter bollocks - I can't smoke seven joints! - read more HERE

I registered the domain name WWW.SIFT.CO.NZ in 2000

TRUE - I also had WWW.FROT.CO.NZ and several others

In 2002 an MRI scan revealed that I had a brain tumour the size of a golf ball

TRUE - that really fucked my shit up and is the reason I learned just about everything I know now. No it didn't kill me within a year without treatment like the doctors said it would! There are many ways to treat illnesses

I have been clocked at 117kph (72mph) on a bicycle

TRUE - but not on a mountainbike like in this photo in which I'm only doing about 65kph looking like a windsock. I was on a roadbike, dressed in lycra, slipstreaming a van downhill on a motorway, with a really strong tailwind. Getting up over 100kph is hard work

I have included a picture with every one of my last 4400 Steemit comments

TRUE - Right from the outset in August 2016 I've had an image fetish. Back then we had to use Imagesafe

I wore contact lenses every day for over 20 years and then one day my eyes wouldn't accept them anymore.

TRUE - this was a contest experiment - would anyone guess the boring one? - no they wouldn't :)

I broke my knee joint clean in half and it was rebuilt by one of New Zealand's top surgeons

TRUE - Man was I lucky - it was a bad enough break that he thought it would be interesting to fix. He did a beautiful job and despite being full of stainless steel only the big scar reveals that it's a bit used

I was chased by seven cops while on a bicycle and was described in the news as the worst example of a reckless bike rider the police had ever seen.

TRUE - as an ex bicycle courier I had a few tricks up my sleeve. But they were good at using radios and the one I didn't know about saw where I went. Got two convictions for that

I sound like a fucking lunatic don't I ?

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WWW.SIFT.CO.NZ

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