I used to think about it a lot.
I've always been a "big" girl. My whole life I've been bullied for being too tall. Being too heavy. I used to compensate by dressing outrageously. If people were going to pick on me, at least I can give them some other material besides how much I weigh, ya know?

My last two ex partners put a lot of emphasis on my weight. One simply said that I wasn't "physically attractive enough" and just "too big". The other lost weight and suddenly, he found me absolutely revolting.

I spent forever starving myself, trying different diets. I made myself sick more times than I could count. I lost so much weight and when that proved that it wasn't enough to satisfy these partners, I reverted back. Because... what was the point?

I am by no means obese to the point where I can't be active. I enjoy walking and riding bikes. I love to swim. Yeah, I am a bigger gal but I don't let that define me anymore.

I do still think about my weight and diet. I know I could be heathier. I know I could be more physically attractive. I certainly could eat better.

And I plan to do all of these things.

But I don't let them rule my every day and my own self-worth anymore. Which I think is pretty awesome!

Weight and diet have been hard subjects for me over the years, but since being with my partner (who I met on here) I found that it is okay to be comfortable just being myself. And if I need to change for me, he's cool with that, but I am loved just the way I am.

Which has really helped me realize that it is okay to love myself, even if I need improvement. (And to eat a damn salad once in a while)