Hello @yallapapi,
speaking to ourselves means speaking to our subconsciousness.
Some people just didn't learned it, they need to be teached, something what is completely missing in our school system.
Some people, especially very successful people have a natural talent for that.
A good way is praying, a better way is meditation.
The best way to speak to our subconsciousness is short before we fall asleep and in the moment we wake up.
Why?
In these moments the subconsciousness is still "awake", it can listen and understand us in the best way.
But!
These things ordinary people don't know, they need "teachers"...
Some of the ordinary people are just not on the step to understand it or not powerful enough to fight again their own laziness..
Best regards
Tom