Most couples go through several crises throughout the relationship. People change over time, as well as their needs, desires and feelings. When you are in crisis, the anguish, the confusion and the contradictory affects can be very intense. And it is not easy to decide whether to end the relationship. Faced with this dilemma, a therapist can help overcome a crisis. About more information here: Parterapi Frederiksberg

However, it is normal that couples who have been together for many years go through a crisis; the problem is that many do not know how to decide if it is worth fighting to overcome the trance or it is better to end the relationship.

Why couples are in crisis

The most common reasons for the crisis are, according to Gl. Kongevej, a couple therapists, the incompatibility of characters and sexual problems. When the members of the couple do not understand each other, when they fail to create a satisfactory common space in their relationship, frictions are normal. As for sexual problems, the crisis does not come so much because of the lack of sex, but because of the consequences of the lack of sex.

When one of the components of the couple feels a desire that is not reciprocated, a certain resentment or anger may develop in him. And these can contaminate the relationship to a point without return. As Trujillo points out, on occasion, it happens that when a woman has just become a mother she puts almost all of her affection and attention on the child. If sexual relations also decrease, many times the man looks outside the relationship for what he does not find in her.

Another of the most frequent causes of a crisis is infidelity. Therefore, fidelity should not be something that one imposes, it must be a desire, considers the psychoanalyst, for whom it is normal that, over the years, they feel desires towards other people. Finally, one more reason for crisis is communication problems. Many people do not know how to communicate with their partner, their children, or their friends. And a couple is a very close and intimate relationship. If you do not keep the forms, if you do not take into account the other when communicating, it is logical that the tension arises.

When a couple is in crisis, the emotional suffering can be very intense. It’s hard to think clearly. It is difficult to discern the extent to which it is worth continuing or not. Sometimes, a relationship that seemed ideal begins to make water. The members have changed over time and their interests and desires do not seem to go the same way.

It is difficult to generalize about when to end a partner but, when the other person stops being an ally in your life to become someone who does not let you develop, you have to think very seriously the rupture. As is logical, the main reason to break is the end of love. But it is not always easy to distinguish between love and other feelings, such as compassion towards the other person, affection or friendship.

For this reason, it is important to know if there is sexual desire or not, if there is sexual desire, there is probably something left, at least, of love, says the couple's therapist. It is necessary to differentiate between the unions of young people, since the twenty-some things tend to hold less and separate more easily, and those over 35 or 40 years, who endure more and weigh with patience the pros and cons of a rupture.

What unites couples?

Love does not always unite a couple. To know if it is necessary to separate, it is worth having cleared the reasons that should not serve to maintain the relationship. Sometimes it's the children, the fear of loneliness, emotional dependence, and fear of what they will say if the relationship breaks down. Since the economic crisis began, another reason is becoming increasingly important: economic dependence. There are some cases of couples who do not separate because they cannot sell the apartment and end up sharing the house.

After the break

But, sometimes, nothing can help save a relationship. Many people experience the end of a couple as a failure. But it does not have to be that way, many relationships are in their cycle and it is best for everyone that each one follows their path, it does not make sense to maintain a relationship that does not satisfy, for the past years or for the children, the psychoanalyst considers. The end of a relationship does not mean that life ends or that one cannot be happy again.

After a break, experts advise not to obsess over the reasons that led to it. It is necessary to take time to accept the new situation, but we must be very clear that life continues. A breakup of a couple can be the opportunity to start a new life or to improve aspects of oneself. Many people it may be the opportunity to learn to be alone, it must be internalized that being single should not be synonymous with being alone.

The Help of A Couple Therapists

Therapists help couples who are not able to resolve the conflicts that affect their relationship. It is advisable not to go to therapy when it is too late. Many come when they have been in crisis for years, and if a couple is entrenched in a crisis, it can be very difficult to get out of it. A therapist will never take sides for any of the components. Your job will be for the two people to get a dialogue and understand what happens in the relationship. He will try to discover what his wishes are and if they really want to continue or not with their union.