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RE: Echoes Poem 2 - Unfolding Life
Hey there from the seniors with teammalaysia. I thought I should give you a few thoughts on the poem. It's a creative process but I hope a few pointers. First I think it lacks cadence. That or I am missing it. Aside from that, I think the starting of it can and should draw the reader in, so something along the lines of 'my soul wails at the injustice of life' something a bit more dramatic.
These are all suggestions by the way. Been a while since I last taught literature hahaha. Anyways, all the best, le me know if you need help
Thanks, I have taken the feedback in a constructive way and added more context around this poem. I have a series of my poems that I will be sharing with the audience. Will use some of the pointers here in my future work too. Thanks and do let me know if the readers will be able to relate to my work.