My Foolproof Plan to Scam You Suckers

"A fool and his money are soon parted."

Some dead guy said that and I dig it. Why? Well, because helping the fools with the parting sounds like a money maker!

It was going to be easy.

First I would write an incomprehensibly complex whitepaper that will make people’s eyes roll back in their skulls. I would make it so dense with information that the mere attempt at understanding it will make them surrender to the idea that all the concepts must be legitimate just so they Don’t. Have. To. Read. Them. Any. More.

Then I would call up one of the listing sites, explain to them that I want to be their first Platinum Level ICO, threaten to make them read the whitepaper to intimidate them, and pay the requisite costs of big banner ad.

Now the hook would be baited and the time would be at hand to drop it into the stream known as Slack and let the little fishies come to me, their wallets overflowing with BTC that they want to spend before it forks.

But every good carpetbagger needs his snake oil so before things get too hot I would need to jump onto Waves and create a new coin out of thin air... not a lot, just a few thousand. Maybe name with big CAPITAL LETTERS for extra umph. I could even burn some to make them even more scarce!

Now as they start to come in I would pepper them with my social philosophy, business anecdotes, and predictions of great value to my new coin. Once they bit, they would be all over the Waves market just shooting those BTC straight from their account right into my pocket. “Too good to be true” wouldn’t even cross their minds.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

You cannot imagine how angry I was when I wandered into the Monkey Capital Slack channel for the first time and Daniel Harrison was running my scam. I mean.. I worked hard on it, it took several grueling minutes to just type it out!

He was not getting away with this, no sir! This was my plan and I know how to throw a stick in the spokes.

So I did.

All I had to do was simply post the framework of the scam just like I wrote above right in the Slack channel for everyone to read.

Oh, what effect it had! Direct messages came storming down on me like a Visigoth horde. The notifications service stacked little windows of anger up to the top of my screen and then replaced them with fresh hate faster than I could even read them. In the General channel there was bedlam. Men stood on tables and bellowed, women clutching wailing infants to their breast ran for the door, burning timbers fell from the ceiling!

Well, metaphorically…

Out of the chaos emerged an opening to follow my jab up with with a knockout uppercut. Some guy with a LOUD capital avatar actually offered to talk to me. On the phone. Like, IRL and stuff!

Moron. Doesn’t he know I wrote the book (well, five paragraphs) on this whole con? Not to be outdone, I countered that if we were going to have a conversation it would be public to everyone or we wouldn’t have one at all. I demanded a conference bridge be set up so that everyone on that Slack channel could call into and listen to me grill him.

He agreed immediately.

Hmm. Is he not too good at this sort of thing? This is a pretty obvious trap I’m laying out.

So, a few minutes later, at almost 11pm at night his time I spoke to Darshan from LOUD Capital at his home with at least ten other people on the line. I asked him questions about where LOUD gets its funds, how it’s structured, how some rinky-dink company from Ohio managed to get opportunity with SpaceX.

And you know what? He answered them. Every one. He answered them completely and in a straightforward manner, no evasion. Turns out they aren’t all that rinky-dink.

A lot of their portfolio is in Columbus, OH because they follow the old wisdom of first investing in what you know. They do tend to talk more about the SpaceX part of their portfolio than the rest because you don’t get a lot of reaction when you recount your partnership with Bob’s Fish n’ Chips & Car Insurance even if it happens to be very profitable.

Well if Darshan was legit, was the rest of it? I got back into the Slack channel and scrolled through the history. I reread what had been posted by Daniel, Darshan, and the other people involved in the company with a new set of eyes. I also went back to the whitepaper, now that I had some explanations of the concept, and it began to dawn on me how the whole thing came together.

Damn.

It seems I was dead wrong about the scam. This was too good, yes, but it was also true.

Oh well, I have been wrong once or twice before (I think) so what to do?

Well, I snatched up my Trezor signed up for Waves so I could get a hold of as much COEVAL as I could. I had some difficulty getting the purchase done: Waves needs Waves in order to buy Waves… it’s quite irritating to first timers. Turns out the people in the channel are more than happy to help; they have created a step-by-step guide on how to purchase COEVAL and will even give you Waves out of their own pocket to get you going.

Darshan was so entertained with my attempt to expose him that he and the LOUD Capital folks cooked up the idea to hold conference calls three times a week so that they can answer the same questions I had over and over for anyone who cares to pose them.

So on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 10pm EST feel free to celebrate my chagrin by calling in and talking to them about any topic that interests you:

+1 (605) 468-8029
Conference code: 200568#

As I seem to be getting in the habit of doing, I will close my rambling with the statement that I am not affiliated with Monkey Capital, LOUD Capital, or any Capital, for that matter. I do own COEVAL, but not as much as I would like to since I seem to be getting wealthy quite quickly from it.

If anything I have said in here is inaccurate then I’m the one who messed it up so don’t go yelling at the MC/LC guys for my mistake.