WHY FML

1)I was born with a genetic disease neurofibromatosis, which is normally hereditary, but somehow I contracted it as a result of a genetic anomaly - which maybe occurs in 1 and 20k births. As a result I am treated like a freak and have never got to experience love and or having real friends. I have always been a social outcast, because everyone is weirded out by the way I look.

1. I was sexually abused for years as a child by a family member. Because of my condition, I have never had a normal sexual experience, so the only thing I can think of is those terrible experience.

2. I spent 6 years in school trying to become an accountant - I graduated the top of my class with a bachelor degree. But no accounting firms will hire me because of the way I look and my social anxiety.

3. I spent the majority of my life living in poverty -for instance having no power, water or electricity in the dead of winter for weeks at a time and this is Canada, it gets down to minus 50 where I live. We struggled because my dad was trying to build a business, finally after 30 years of struggling, we finally where doing well then everything was stolen by our solicitor - who managed out family trust. Its been 3 years and we are still fighting it. My dad has lost his mind and are family is destroyed as a result

4. I invested all of my life savings in December 2017 into crypto $40,000 because I was desperate and didn't know what to do after the lawyer created all this havoc. I was facing homelessness and didn't know what I was going to do. That $40k in now worth maybe 2 or 3k and I am now living in my car.

Fuck my life. This luck isn't human. The second I find the courage to kill myself I am doing it.I just prey that it is sooner rather than later