The bro codes

1: Bros before Hoes – A ‘Hoe’ is defined as any woman that is not your wife or direct family.
2: A Bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his Bros are doing it.
3: If a Bro gets a dog it must be at least knee height when fully grown.
4: Whether a Bro is in to sports or not they pick a team and support them until their dying breath.
5: A Bro shall not gaze at a naked Bro
6: A Bro never sends a birthday card to another Bro.
7: A Bro is honour-bound to aid his Bros with DIY and moving house.
8: Bros do not share dessert.
9: A Bro never dances with their hands above their head.
10: If a Bro leads a beer/food run they are entitled to all left over change.
11: A Bro will not sleep with another Bro’s sister. However, a Bro is allowed to be vocal about her level of attractiveness.
12: A Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.
13: A Bro doesn’t allow another Bro to get married until they are at least thirty years old.
14: Bros don’t make eye-contact during a Devil’s Three-way.
15: A Bro never rents a chick flick.
16: Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.
17: A Bro never cries.
18: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro
19: A Bro never wears pink underwear.
20: A Bro never publicly reveals how many people another Bro has slept with.
21: A Bro is not required to remember another Bro’s birthday.
22: A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Paddy’s Day.
23: A Bro doesn’t grow a mustache.
24: A Bro will make any and all effort to provide his Bro with a condom when they score.
25: A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks.
26: A Bro ALWAYS enhances another Bro’s job description when introducing him.
27: A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.
28: If a Bro buys a new car he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.
29: If a Bro for whatever reason needs to drive another Bro’s car, they shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations.
30: A Bro shows up to a party with at least one more unit of alcohol than they plan to drink.
31: Bros start at least one fire a year.
32: If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret he shall take that secret to his grave.
33: A Bro never wears socks with sandals.
34: The mum of a Bro is always off-limits.
35: When a Bro isn’t invited to another Bro’s wedding, they don’t make a big deal about it.
36: A Bro doesn’t sing along to music in a bar.
37: “Clothing optional” doesn’t really mean “clothing optional” to Bros.
38: A Bro shall not damage another Bro’s chances to score.
39: A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control.
40: A Bro is never vegan.
41: If a Bro fails a challenge, it’s ALWAYS the equipment’s fault.
42: Every Bro knows a Bro who is the worlds best at something.
43: When a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, they must first ask what condition the car is in.
44: When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros.
45: A Bro shall seek no revenge if they pass out around their Bros and wake up to find their body covered in drawings and shaving foam.
46: A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email.
47: A Bro doesn’t listen to chick music…in front of other Bros.
48: A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars.
49: It is never acceptable for a Bro to sleep with another Bro’s ex.
50: Bros don’t quote Oscar Wilde
51: A Bro always admits when they farted
52: A Bro will always verify another Bro’s story when they are trying to score.
53: If your team beats your Bro’s team you have 24 hours to rub it in
54: A Bro always takes a piss standing up.
55: A Bro never catches a cold. Bros are struck down with Man Flu.
56: If a Bro finds his Bro’s girlfriend repulsive, they shall not say anything until they have broken up.
57: A Bro never gives another Bro the silent treatment.
58: A Bro always has his Bro’s back
59: Women can also be a Bro.
60: A Bro DOES NOT masturbate in front of other Bros.
61: When a Bro asks another Bro to look after their drink, that Bro never tampers with it. Pranks NEVER involve another Bro’s drink.
62: A Bro doesn’t unfriend his Bro on Facebook while in a huff.
63: All Bros are required to take turns as the ‘designated driver.’
64: Bros don’t wax their body hair
65: A Bro is not expected to notice another Bro’s new haircut
66: A Bro never asks another Bro to come with them to the bathroom
67: A Bro never wears Crocs
68: Bros DO NOT pout for selfies.
69: All Bros are distracted by the number 69 and it’s sexual meaning rendering all Bros unable to read anything immediately after this number.
70: A Bro never uses another Bro’s toothbrush
71: Bros don’t use umbrellas
72: A Bro DOES NOT choose his own nickname. A nickname, good or bad, is bestowed upon you by your fellow Bros.
73: Bros take care of their fellow bros when they have too much to drink.
74: A Bro of a Bro is a Bro to you.
75: When a Bro has a kid his Bros become honourary uncles.
76: A Bro never keeps a photo of his Bro in his wallet
77: A Bro does not allow his Bro to drunk dial or text his ex.
78: Bros don’t wear skinny jeans
79: A Bro ALWAYS honours a bet.
80: A Bro is honour bound to accept all arm wrestling challenges.
81: Bros pay for their dates.
82: Bros don’t stop to smell flowers
83: Bros don’t touch another Bro’s drink without express permission.
84: Bros don’t break up chick fights until a sufficient amount of clothing has been pulled off.
85: A Bro does not cock-block another Bro for any reason
86: A Bro will ALWAYS watch a movie narrated by Morgan Freeman.
87: At a Bro’s funeral, all other Bros toast with the deceased’s drink of choice.
88: When a Bro wants to do something stupid, you film it.
89: A Bro must NEVER impede on a Bro’s ability to suit up.
90: ALL conversations between Bros are subject to “Bro to Bro confidentiality”.
91: A bro cannot give another bro a teddy bear.
92: Bros shall never under any circumstances go and see a chick flick alone.
93: A Bro does not dare or challenge another bro to do anything they wouldn’t try themselves.
94: A Bro and a Brother are not the same thing.
95: A Bro never rearranges the dishes at another Bro’s house.
96: Paint Balling is the ONLY combat scenario in which a Bro’s balls are not off limits.
97: When a Bro leaves his seat that seat becomes vacant and cannot be reclaimed if another Bro takes it.
98: Bros shall not wear a Fanny Pack/Bum Bag.
99: A Bro never leaves another Bro behind.
100: A Bro never makes eye-contact with another Bro while eating a banana.
101: Dibs cannot be implied, you must call dibs in front of witnesses for any said Dibs to be valid.
102: When playing or responding to a prank, a Bro’s car is off limits.
103: If you catch your Bro’s partner cheating you immediately tell your Bro regardless of any shit-storm that may arise.
104: A Bro always has a condom in their wallet.
105: All Bros like steak
106: Bros don’t take selfies while having a dump.
107: A Bro never lets his brokenhearted Bro drink alone.
108: A Bro Never tickles another Bro.
109: A Bro always offers his Bros a drink when getting one for themselves.
110: Bros wear their pants/trousers above their ass.
111: Bros don’t use a photo of their pet or child as their profile picture.
112: A Bro doesn’t get lost, he merely finds an alternate route.
113: Bros never use the term ‘YOLO’
114: If a Bro wins a trophy that can be used as a cup they will drink alcohol out of it as soon as possible.
115: Bros don’t giggle.
116: Bros don’t wear turtlenecks
117: If Bros share a house/apartment all Bros are obligated to stay out of the way if a fellow Bro brings their date home.
118: A Bro NEVER under ANY circumstances attempts to get with another Bros partner.
119: Bros don’t touch each others hair.
120: When a Bro offers another Bro chewing gum, that offer is for two or more pieces.
121: Bro’s don’t smell each other on purpose.

1. Bros never use the term ‘swag’ to describe anything.
   123: Bros only comment on a fellow Bro’s fashion choice if that choice will affect their ability to get laid.
   124: A bro is NEVER afraid to fail.
   125: All Bros have an interest in some sort of weaponry.
   126: If a Bro injures themselves while lifting weights, fellow Bros will add more weights before getting help.
   127: Bros do not share a drink or popcorn at the cinema.
   128: A bro shall never engage in any sexual activity with a Girl-Bro.