RE: Coming to terms with the reality of depression/anxiety.
Thanks for your comment! I started to realise that my problem was with our culture when I traveled to Japan. For me, I'd always avoided travel because I had assumed it would send my anxiety into overdrive. I've spent a fair amount of time over there and never once had the slightest bit of trouble. I felt at home. The people seemed to be less corrupted by western culture. You wouldn't walk into bikies or.. people that were overcompensating for insecurities. There was no graffiti or littering, no young men doing burnouts in cars or revving their engines to impress girls. Over there, they realise that doing such is moronic. My culture shock has always been in coming back to Australia. I say all this while taking into account my bias for a "grass is greener" kind of attitude, but I'm absolutely convinced I'd have been better off raised in Japan.
I remember those panic attacks.. heightened senses, walking through crowds assuming everyone is looking at you thinking you're a freak! The sweating, the failure to breathe.. the strong urge to escape no matter what. On the bus, in the car, in shopping malls and cinemas.
That's interesting about Japan. I'm in the US which is likely worse than Australia!
Feeling trapped is the worst part of the panic attacks. You can escape a bad situation, but you can't escape yourself.