Saturday 19/9/2020

in #diary4 years ago (edited)

So I was banned for the last time from an anonymous image board. Seriously done with them unless a blockchain based one emerges. Recently been thinking at how I should have just left my parents house at 20 and done what my heart/spirit was demanding. Singing freely, living freely. I've been all along the way sacrificing too much for the hope of a better future. One that still has not come. Butt, really I wish I had been switched at birth and had a mother that at least wouldn't mutilate my genitals. Or maybe someone could have married me at 16 and liberated me from my prison. I really didn't care if that person was a man or a woman, so long as s/he was attractive. Alas, that never happened. Now I'm really fucked up, again sacrificing my freedom by both living with my parents and working on university courses that only makes me feel frustrated and empty. My life is the story of someone cursed to be born as the wrong sex, or to the wrong family/society, that tried to be wise and struggled for the future only to be defeated repeatedly, gaining pointless scars along the way. Only if I achieve success beyond my wildest dreams could I ever consider these scars as medals of honour. Lady luck has not been on my side. No one has ever been on my side, or truely loved me, except me... and event then there are times I hate myself along with the world. Butt, what can I do butt continue to struggle?
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Love, your Empress, Voxxe~