Shattered: A Confession and an Anti-Revelation from the Car in the Middle of the Night

in #dlive6 years ago (edited)

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Man. Some shit's happenin'.

Wanna step into the car and hear some guy talk about things as if to himself, and an audience, at the same time?

The last shreds of submission are looking weaker and weaker. Because....why submit to anything less than yourself?

YouTube Version:

~KafkA

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Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as DLive and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)

My video is at DLive

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I have trouble saying "I don't know" too sometimes. It's as though if I say it, it means that I am in the wrong, and that comes from the brainwash and abuse.

I totally get what you're saying. And the present moment is the most important, yet we squander our present moment all the time. We replay the past and fear the future. The Elite use tactics to keep us in that perpetual past-future non-present limbo, abusers do it, people who fear do it. I've been getting more and more hate from people who don't like that I'm doing what I'm doing because they can't do it themselves, speak their mind, or maybe they hurt so much they need to hurt others. But we need to keep doing it because there are those who appreciate and love us.

I do like listening to you talk. This was some deep, emotional, vulnerable contemplation. And all that shows strength! :D Keep at it, my friend. The world needs people like you.

Thank you very much for watching and understanding. It means a lot to me.

Man, that was really a lot to engage with.
What you first talked about in German is Glaubenssätze, should be translated to belief sentences.
I learned about it when I was around the German LifePlus community or better the associated independent 'personality developers'. Don't know entirely for sure if this is the way, but for some people it definitely was.
It's an US company, looked it up, also in Japan.

So what is a belief sentence?
Basically some reaction or decision you made at a vulnerable point in life, often childhood, which made sense at that point in time and you adapt as kind of a mantra and often repeat to yourself or repeat in specific situations. (Sometimes simply mantras that close people, e.g. parents repeated to you again and again and you accepted as true.)
Typical examples would be: I don't deserve to be loved. Money is evil. Wealthy people are bad (rotten) people, I in no way want to become wealthy/should become wealthy (because I want to be a good person). It is my task in life to sacrifice myself and help others, whenever I see need. I am dumb. I am the [not a] greatest being on earth. I am weak. I am worthless.
Imaginable that this might have an effect if you say this steadily to yourself.
And a plethora of other possibilities, depending on personal stories.

They are called belief sentences because they are engrained in you (even physically; the situation may have impragnated a physical reaction on/of your body). So it maybe even possible that often you don't even speak them in your mind but you show a voiceless physical reaction, a reaction in your attitude/composure.

What was said by the 'personality developers' (and I remember) would be the way to change these belief sentences.
First you have to find out what the sentence actually really is. Go back to the situation in your mind and figure it out. Write down and feel with all your heart and mind if this is exactly what resonates. When it (finally) does, then you have the sentence. Then you have what you believe. So now you can decide! You can decide what you want to believe instead. What would be the appropriate sentence for the rest of your life or at least a long time instead of the sentence which is not appropriate anymore.
Make yourself repeatedly aware of your decision in the next days and weeks. Try to grasp situations where the old believe sentence may have rang inside you (maybe even without words but now you can give it words). Remind yourself of your decision and act with that belief sentence instead.
(Imagine yourself if your sentence was: I am weak. You decided to change to: I am strong. Your attitude and composure will be different.)
Sometimes this reminds me of the Boggarts in Harry Potter. They fear it so much. And then they finally laugh about it and it loses its power. Also a way to modify (the view on) bad memories.

Maybe that's a helpful idea.
I have decided to not get into the other stuff, because it would mix up so much and this rather should be kept clear, straightforward, one thing to work on.
Had already written notes down, just name then. Loneliness, watching killings, so also not the personal story I had, sorry.

Addendum.
So cool you talked about the omnipotent fallacy :D. Not god is the problem here though but the word in itself is contradictory. Nothing can be omnipotent. It would mean to create a problem that is impossible to solve and then solve it - but then it was not impossible in the first place. Perfection and control are similar (illusions). Accuracy and influence instead. (Though of course it does not mean that the concepts are entirely useless. May help to think your car is under your control and no meteor storm or earthquake could interrupt any moment everything ;-) :).)

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, i appreciate your honesty and allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

i am grappling with similar questions and struggles and i empathize with your pain.

I wish you all the best on your journey.

I share with you some that you shared in your confession, Just like you I quit my job, for me to be in a work environment where coruption, bribes and lies just made me feel bad.
Like your some nights I can not sleep for thinking about my financial problems and I think many people have the same problem.
I can only tell you keep going and cheer up

Lol. "Cheer up" Yo mane. I think you maybe missed the whole point hahahah.

As an agnostic recovered Catholic, Bill Donahue's scripture interpretations seem interesting. The link to his YouTube Library is included below for your viewing pleasure.

https://www.youtube.com/user/bdona4556

Like stars in motion, things don't remain the same. ✌💛