SPECIAL POST 200 FOLLOWERS - Feeling emotional
Hello, everyone! How are you? I hope you're fine!
Well, where do I start?... I've been doing almost a daily drawing and I'm overwhelmed. It's a record for me considering that before being here, doing 1 or 2 drawings per month was almost a miracle. So, it's been a few days since my last drawing and apart from that, I've been busy, that's why I've been absent. The situation that I'm going through (and Venezuelans in general) is exhausting me physically and mentally to the point that I can no longer draw.
On Sunday, I woke up thinking about what could I draw, but I couldn't do anything. In front of me was my sheet and in my hand a pencil, but it was as if my brain had forgotten how to draw. I tried to make some sketches again and again, but everything went wrong; they were all a reflection of my mental state. That's why I decided to make this series of drawings expressing emotions when I finally could do something with my hand.
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I'm supposed to be excited to have reached 200 followers, but I'm not happy. Don't misunderstand me, the support and the people that I have met in this platform during these almost 2 months have been incredible for me. It has been a wonderful experience and I have learned a lot from other people.
Steemit has given my life a 180 degree turn. YOU with your support have helped me a lot, but what I was afraid would happen is happening. Since my stay in this platform I see it as a job, drawing has become more a business than a hobby which I enjoyed.
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Sometimes, people press you to do things because "you should do it". It's like "Oh, you know how to draw, you have to be an artist", "you should do this and that to be a real artist", "true artists do not do that "... For that kind of comments, the word "artist" has been bothering me a lot. In some way, I feel that I fail you and myself if my work doesn't meet expectations.
To finish, I want to apologize for this. Maybe many of you entered this post hoping to see a great drawing as in the previous special, but only found an girl exhausted from everything. This special was going to be different (and it really was), but not as I wanted it to be. I was thinking about some ideas for days and I changed my mind 3 times until this happened and in the end, I just wanted to share how I feel.
I remember that I even asked my sister what should I do for this special and she told me that she didn't know. I kept asking her and in the end she said "just do something original". I hope this is original enough, haha.
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Thank you so much for taking your time and reading my post. Honestly, I feel better after having spoken with my mom and my sister. And finally, I will leave you a list of songs I heard while I was drawing. The list is shorter compared to the first special post because it doesn't took me much time to make these drawings.
Artist/Song
- Lo air - Day and night
- Astral planes - Exodus
- Billy Talent - Red flag
- Bloc Party - Banquet
- Camille Saint Saëns - Danse Macabre
- Echos - Haunt
- FATE - Darkness
- Goldfinger - My everything
- LORN - ANVIL
- NANOBYTE - Kalyke
- NIGHTGRIND - Never ft. ANUBIS-XIII
- PENSEES - Murky
- Vivaldi - Four Seasons (Winter)
- WORSE - Tomorrow
- WILD - All my life
- Kodyak - Into the trees
I think those were all the songs. Bye, guys! :D
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These are really special. Sparse and simultaneously dense at the same time. like a fractal, it lies between dimensions, cool :) Inspiration comes and goes. Practice and pushing through is valuable though, like someone learning an instrument. Its good to mix it up though, take a break from the norm maybe dont take it so seriously, its the pressure thats killing ya! I think you used this exercise to really express your emotions, these feel very authentic. As long as you always have that as an artist, you will always thank yourself later, even if it felt like a chore.
What you are feeling is totally valid though, there is a very real effect that money can have on you as an artist. I know people who do entirely exclude money from art, it is a thing for sure, and a nobel one. Learning to support yourself as an independent artist with your own personal art can also be very freeing, personally i think its a worthwhile pursuit. This is one of the most beautiful things about steem, not what it is or will be, but what it represents as future possibilities for our culture. Now im blabbering. I wont tell you to keep it up, Do what you want! Its always good to reflect on where you want to go in the future though, and what it will take to get there.
Thanks for your words!
You're right. I feel pressured to keep up and be better, not only for myself but for the people that matter to me. When things are forced, the result is very obvious. I cannot hope to remain the same if I press myself too hard to achieve something even if I really need it. I guess I have to organize myself and not take things so seriously, at least not all the time.
Thanks for taking your time to stop by! :D
Yes because of steemit I've been doing daily drawings too! Something i haven't done for years.
I like the icy blueness of the eye in the first drawing but my fave is the last picture! Great technique! I might try this too!
Thank you for sharing and congrats on 200 followers. It can get exhausting and pressuring sometimes to think of what to draw next but just keep doing what you like and take breaks if you need to. ♥
We are here to support you senpai!
Aww, thank you noelle-senpai <3
My favorites are the first and the last drawing, especially the last one. In fact, it was the first one that I drew. She looks so calm, it's the peace that I need to find.
There's no question as to whether you are an artist. Your ability to communicate your emotions through your work will serve you, your art, and your community.
Thank you for so freely, authentically, and vulnerably sharing who you are with all of us. Your challenges speak to the emotions so many experience when creating and sharing those creations.
Sending love and encouragement. I look forward to seeing more. Upvoted and followed you today.
Thank you so much!
It's nice when people who don't even know you, try to support you. That's why I'll always be grateful for the words of encouragement from all of you. It helps me not to think about things so much and keep looking for peace.
Hi @art-huntress! I was so blessed to see this artwork. I’m very serious when I say that this talent you have here my dear is quality stuff! Museum worthy. Try @art- huntress to not think about the money or the pressure of producing amazing art everyday. Just take a break away from it for awhile, you need some time off. Take some time for solitude and meditation for your soul, that’s what all your family and true friends would want for you. An artists mind is somewhat fragile because we see things differently. We’re a different breed of cat. Easy to loose it if we don’t take care of ourselves. I’ve been there. This is my advice to you, from a grandma! Hope you find peace. And may God bless you!
Hi @lildebbiecakes! :D
Thank you for stopping by, I really appreciate it! I know I shouldn't be thinking about those things and maybe it makes me seem covetous, but I need it, that's the reason I enter this place, to find a way out of my economic problems. And thanks for the advice, I've been thinking too much about everything, "I have to do this and that"... it's a thought that is often in my head, but I really need a break to be myself again!
ERES GENIAL! FELICIDADES POR TUS 200 SEGUIDORES !!
tus dibujos de este post, los puedo usar de fondo de pantalla ? :S
P.D: Esta vez no conozco ninguna de las canciones de tu playlist
Holaaa! :D
Muhas gracias!. Que clase de pregunta es esa? :v claro que los puedes usar, jajaja.
PD: Yo tampoco conocía la mayoría de esas canciones, las descargue recientemente XD
wow ,. you must be a great artist.
your works are pretty amazing!..
Thank you for stopping by! You're a great artist, too.
Lo estas haciendo bien, you don't need to worry so much sis ;)
Claro que si debo preocuparme! No podemos ir a la universidad en bicicleta :v
finooo, te felicito :) por esos 200 seguidores, pues mereces mas, por tu talento indiscutible, pazzzzzzzzzzzz
Yacooo! Jajaja, gracias por pasarte por aquí! También tienes talento, creceremos mas y mas, solo hay que seguir trabajando :D pero mantén todo en calma o terminaras cansado como yo!
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