"My dad appeared in the dream and his behavior shocked us" - Explaining a message from a death person

Excerpt: Someone dear to you passed away and shortly after appears in your dream with a message that in the morning seems to you ambiguous and even shocking. This dreamer's brother's father did exactly that and created a controversy in the family. People who die often have a better understanding of the reality, from the vantage point of being outside the limited personality, and they wish to share the new wisdom with their loved ones who stayed "behind". In this dream, the main issue is the perceived necessity to follow religious orders to the letter, compared to adhering to the values of love, compassion, and brotherhood.

Credit: Manuel Rodriguez

About two months ago my father died. My older brother dreamed of him and each of my siblings interprets the dream differently, which creates some dispute among ourselves. Therefore, we would love to hear your interpretation of the dream.

In the dream, our father was waiting for everyone to come for Shabbat dinner (an explanation for my non-Jewish readers: The Shabbat is considered to be a holy day in the Jewish religion, where religious people are ordered to rest, not allowed to drive, not allowed to do any task, not even shaving – N.M).

When my brother came into the house he asked my father who you were waiting for?, dressed so beautifully in a gray suit with a white shirt?. My brother requested my dad to sit down with him to talk, to laugh, etc., while they were waiting for the others to arrive, but my dad excused himself, left the room and when he returned my brother understood that my dad had shaved as he had shave cuts on his cheeks and throat. My brother asked him "why did you shave on Shabbat?", "Since when have you been shaving on the Shabbat?*" and my dad's answer was: "I do what all of you do".

I am 37 years old and my brother is 43. Each brother interpreted the dream differently, so we contacted you to formulate some opinion on the matter. In the dream, my brother was very upset and shocked to find out that my father, being a religious Jew for all his life, shaved on Shabbat and desecrated the holy day. My brother awoke from the dream very frightened and agitated and sent us all a morning notice of his dream and claimed that we should stop driving our mom to have Shabbat dinner with us, as driving is not allowed on the Shabbat day.

What does this dream mean? What is the message?

There is never one single interpretation of a dream and each person paints their interpretation according to their own beliefs and values.

I personally believe that the dream on the part of your late father is actually to encourage you to see outside the old structure, to get out of the mental fixation of following religious orders to the letter and rather to connect with the values that underline the dogma.

For many years, perhaps throughout his all life, your dear father has followed the rules of the Shabbat. However, after his death, his awareness expanded and he connected with a broader consciousness of himself, which provided a higher reference for things he has experienced here, on the earthly plane. He found out that beyond the letters of the rules there is substance. This message he conveyed in the dream, in the hope that you, his precious children who have remained in the physical reality, would accept and be enriched by. The only way he could convey the message to you was through a personal example, to be a standard. And so it was. He knew that if your brother sees him shaved on the day of the holy Shabbat he would be startled, his emotions would evoke, he would remember the dream and create a robust discussion within the family

Your dear brother was horrified by the dream because he thought it was sacrilege. He could not accept that his respected and beloved father changed his mind after his death and now behaves in apparent contradiction to everything he believed in, religious-wise. Therefore, in order not to desecrate the father's memory, he chose to see the dream as a lecturing from your father imploring you to be even more religiously extremists.

Naturally, your brother's intentions are precious and loving. However, they are colored by his own perspectives about life, which are limited. At this point, each and every one of you will have to exercise discretion and choose for themselves what the dream is here to say. This is another of your father's goals in the dream - he wants you to start thinking for yourself, and relinquish any attachments to Gurus, rabbis or books, which order you how to conduct your life. Your father gives you the gift of self-sovereignty, telling you to be responsible for your life. You and no one else ("what you do").

You will have to decide what value is leading you. Would your father have wanted you to leave your mother alone on Shabbat? How would she feel? How will you feel? What is really important in life? Is it your independent opinion, that is based on an inner voice and a feeling of love, or an order written 5000 years ago in a book?

This dilemma can lead to a disagreement between you, but I wish you all that you will indeed find the right path and act with balance and respect to each other. As the proverb goes "Its ways, ways of pleasantness and all its paths are peace."

I have a strong resentment towards institutionalized religions. Instead of giving people strengths and guide them to connect with their God within, religions have used, manipulated and repressed the poor and the naive. Sadly so.