Not So Great Expectations

in #dropintheocean7 years ago (edited)

Expectation is the root of all heartache. -William Shakespeare

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Expectation = Disappointment

I have learned over the years to not live life with high expectations. I was always told to 'Hope for the best but expect the worst', and that's what I learned to do. It's between that and not expecting anything at all. Something as simple as expecting people to just be decent human beings will cause your heart to ache. When I do something for someone, I do it now with no expectations. It has made a huge difference in life. .

I HAD Friends.

I haven't always been friendless. My husband and I got close with another couple, he worked at the same fire department as my husband. We got close and we hung out at their house every Friday night. They had two young boys and our kids would play while the adults cooked and drank, sometimes we'd play games or poker. Our son and their younger son went to school together. They asked me if I would get their son off of the bus, and keep him until they got off of work. Being the kind of friend I am, I had no problem saying yes. I was not aware that it was the start of an ongoing thing. One time quickly turned an everyday occurrence. They didn't ask except for that first time. They knew that I would always be there to get my son off of the bus so they just told their son to get off at his bus stop and they just expected me to be fine with it. This is how things went for a while. It took a lot for me to get angry enough to stick up for myself. As time passed, they would show up at my house hours after quitting time. They never called to tell me they would be late. For a while, I just let it go and kept up the charade. I began feeling frustrated at the situation, but never said anything.

With Friends like that, Who needs Friends?

We are all huge football fans here. I had a last minute opportunity to go to a football game. I had to find a babysitter at the last minute. I called our friends and expected them to be fine with watching my son especially after how much I've been watching their boy. They had a terrible attitude about keeping him, telling me how busy their evening was going to but with haste they agreed to keep him. I had trouble enjoying the game, I was just disappointed by the reaction I received when asking friends for a favor, my thoughts were stewing the whole time. When the game was over, I went to pick up my son. Just like I expected, I was greeted with a bad attitude. The fact that she watched my son ruined her evening. I told her that I was no longer able to watch her son after school. She threw the biggest hissy fit I have ever seen. She told me that friends didn't do that to each other. I picked up my son, put him in the car and went home. I decided at that point that I would never speak to those so-called friends ever again.

Expect more from yourself, not others.

The only high expectations I have are the ones that I have for myself. I expect myself to always to the right thing, or at least try to. I expect myself to learn something new everyday, and so far, I have been successful. I expect myself to be better than that me I was yesterday. I find that I don't make a habit of disappointing myself.

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This has been my Drop in the Ocean post about Expectation for the awesome BuddyUP community.
Thanks for stopping by y'all!!

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Sorry to hear that @monchhichi23 but did New Orleans win the game? I know how much you like football and if they won the game and you are still like this then wow... The kid things should be like give and take. It takes a lot of wisdom to figure out what people are thinking. I hope your son wasn't negatively influenced.

Yes @mineopoly we won!! Lol my son has turned out to be a rock star so no worries lol... hes an EMT and he seems to have things kinda figured out, for the most part lol... probably more than I do!

I know the feeling... but he will always need you.

This “friend” seems to fit into an expression I like to use.... Slore. It’s a combination of slut/whore which has nothing to do with promiscuity and everything to with being a selfish, terrible pain in the rear.

It sucks to lose people who seemed like friends but good for you for putting an end to that one sided nonsense.

I will adopt that word @dfinney!! The older I get the more I realize there are just sooo many people like that!! Good people are just hard to find, is it just me or do you see this too??

@monchhichi23,

Your post so spoke to me. I learned from a very early age how to be happy feeling lonely, despite not being alone. It took longer to learn how to handle expectations. ;)

The only high expectations I have are the ones that I have for myself.

Yes. That's what I learned. Finally. And it works well for me too.

I LOVE your very personal style of writing, @monchhichi23! Thanks again.

Thank you so much @angelacs ... I'm glad that I'm not the only one. The worst feeling in the world is being around people and still feeling alone, but I know that feeling well. You're awesome babe... your comments are always so kind... you rock!

We often make the mistake to assume that others (family, friends, acquaintances) would react just like us. That they would go an extra mile for us, the same way we did it or do it for them. That they'll mirror our acts and thus we end up being disappointed. It's a hard lesson to learn but once we do, we feel more empowered.

Absolutely @lymepoet ... I always try to be a decent human being, help when I can, I treat others the way I hope to be treated, it seems like thats just rare these days. And so is decency and its a shame. But yes!! Empowering for sure... now, the only actions I worry about are my own. I know what to expect from myself.

ooooooops!!!!! and - reading your post now and seeing that we BOTH used the same Shakespeare quote as our start hahahahahaha

shoot. LOLOL well i guess that's to be expected when we are writing on the same topic in the same week! hahahahahaha

don't beat me ;) (i guess i could change it! LOL) but there is only 23 minutes left to dito!!!! and i gotta read!!!! so....

just don't beat me hehehehe

and..... as far as the term "friends".... yeah - you didn't lose any friends in that situation... they didn't understand what it meant to be a friend to begin with :( Sad. but.... nowwwwwwwwwwwww you have the bestest dragonfly and firefly you ever did meet!!!!!! hehehehehehe

Well we are twinsies lol.... unless you're just spying on me?!?!?! Im telling you that stuff is starting to get a bit creepy dreem. Like for reals!! Lol and I won't beat you, not now anyway ... hahaha. You and Andy are the best friends a girl like me can have Dreem ... we just click.. and sometimes I feel all cheesy and wanna get us like those cheap best friend necklaces or bracelets of keychains or something like that, you know the ones that are like in pieces and you put them together to make a heart? I wanna get thise i gotta find a 3 piece one lol

I am laughing so hard!!!!!!!!
That would be the best thing ever hahahhahahahaa

And wait....how did you figure out I'm spying on you???? Did you find the nanny cam in your living room.!?!??? Lololol

Now I'm need better spy techniques!!

I KNEW IT!!!!! hahahaha

Oh Dreemie, what the hell am I going to do with you??? I guess since it's you I'll allow the spying... lol

That's a shame how friends tend to turn rotten. Reading your expectations for yourself also felt a little bit too much. I think it's reasonable to accept that we do not always do the right thing (you did say try, in fact). I am glad that you do not disappoint yourself, although this cannot be said for everyone ;)

They turn rotten more than not @poetrybyjeremy, which is why I only have a select few. I will always set high expectations for myself, I may not always reach them, but I will always try.. and when it comes to not disappointing myself, I used to... all the time. But I realized that beating myself up did nothing for me but make things worse. Everything can be a learning experience, and if you're learning and you're growing and working to be a better person than you were before, there's no reason to be disappointed. We are human after all and prone to make mistakes, but they turn into life lessons when we learn from them.

What a bloody joke! After all you did to help out and make their life easy, the flip-side arrives and you just get attitude?! Couple of wankers haha!

It sounds like you're much better off without them in your life!

Definitely @calumam, they are wankers!!! Lol (I've always wanted to say that.. and I said it in the best Cal accent I could muster, and probabaly butchered it lol) I did get some satisfaction though Cal, after I walked away, it wasn't long before other people followed suit. She has a gambling problem and he's just a dick.. I didn't lose a thing and they lost a babysitter lol

Really enjoyed this post !!