i hear you.. it is hard to know what to say without some guidance! Once you get the idea of it things can work quit nicely.. Its not really about letting them doing anything.. its how you say things and the words you use.. how you explain things.. and most importantly that you Do in fact leave the option open after explaining everything clearly.. It must be a request, not a demand.. that is so important.. YES you can find extreme exceptions.. we always do .. but in General this is very sound advice for the long term mindset that it brings..

I have seen kids who never really heard the word no. they are AMAZING! you never really NEED to either! so i dont think you really need to say no even though it seems that way. It is not necessary, that is the entire premise of this post.. it does SO much more harm than good, and apart from that rare occasion when kid is about to slice his legs off with a chainsaw.. we can remain their inspiration and respected and loved guides rather than their oppressors.. which is all too often the case!

its a whole 'nother paradigm ! IF you watch the first 20 mins of this VID you might start to see what im on about.. or rather what he is on about! He got me!