RE: All Kids Need Freedom as Much as They Need Boundaries: EcoTrain's Question of the Week - Kids and Smartphones
I agree. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. And the middle ground's not that much more appealing, as well - at least from an effort perspective. But that's where your skill as a parent comes into play, in the setting of these personal boundaries. I mean, you could be lucky and have a child who doesn't take much coaxing into the 'safe zone', but for most, it's much more problematic than that.
It requires strength to enforce these kind of boundaries, not only in the first place, but to be consistent with them once they have been put in place. You can't waiver. If you break once, that's it, you've set a precedent, and kids being as canny as they are, never miss a beat, especially when it comes to extending their influence into areas that currently being put off limits to them.
It surely will be interesting to see how the coming generation develops. We can already see shades of it now in the instant gratification, selfie, meme style 'cult'-ure that has been gathering momentum for the past 10 years or so.
There are parts of all this modern progression that I love. The convenience of all our devices, the connectedness and how much they have done to facilitate change and bring awareness to important cultural and societal issues.
But the cost? Our kids, and thus our future. The emphasis placed on social media and all these devices is ripping the spontaneity out of what should be some of the best and most carefree years of a persons life.
Yet, the drop in age of diving into the murky world of validation hunting is only going to succeed in rooting issues of self-worth that will last a lifetime.
I was lucky enough not to become a potential victim of all that when I was younger. I kicked a ball around until dark, and was beside myself with joy if I was allowed to stay up late and watch the X-files!
It's an incredible time to be alive, but the direction in which we are heading sometimes gives me cause for exasperation...
I'd upvote this thoughtful reply but my VP is low, but hopefully I can repay this amazing thoughtful comment when I gather strength, so I'm following you :)
I agree - you are simply not effective to teenagers if you're inconsistent. However, there are exceptions to this rule, such as 'I'm sorry honey, I can see I was wrong, because I'm human too.'
I think we're exasperated at any age, because the future is scary and we worry about the good things we'll lose - like, oh my god!! The Xfiles - Mulder and Scully - I still adore them!
But my nephews are carefree and spontaneous, because of the set boundaries....they've thoughtfully given those kids a great childhood and the kids are living proof it still exists!!!
Isn't it crazy - the ten year shift!!! I miss the days that you could actually look for a review on the internet and it wasn't compromised by advertisers etc.
I still believe the kids will be alright. I think it's dangerous to tell them otherwise. They need to know the world is theirs to inherit and take care of. We can talk about it all we like, but god, let us let the kids know they'll be alright, as long as they're kind and compassionate and caring and aware. That's all we can do. And the best we can do.
Ah no worries, man. It's alright. Thank you though. I appreciate it :)
Of course you're right, there's always going to be exceptions to the rule. You need to be flexible in your approach as much as you are consistent. It's like walking a tight rope. It's all about being person centred at the end of the day.
I think that's why so many parents struggle. They bring their kids up the way they were brought up, which invariably, is a recipe for disaster, as society and culture are ever changing. Plus, their kids are have their unique personality with their own needs.
Well said. You don't want to bring that kind of negative mindset into a child's upbringing. The aim is to teach with love, not rule by fear. It's all about self empowerment as you allude to. Each generation is supposed to supercede the next in terms of those virtues you mentioned, but if they're not forthcoming in there's no guide post to go off.
Ultimately, I'm also optimist. I gave up on cynicism quite some time ago. I do believe we have a bright future. The conscious awareness of some of the children born in the last ten years blow me away!
You can take your pick of viral videos, showing kids who've solved complex problems with their ingenuity. I think we'll be alright. :)
Oh my gosh this is exactly what im saying. Cynicism gets you nowhere nor does banging on about the past. Kids are awrsome.. make them think that and theyll be the oones changing the world instead of giving up in despair!