Never Trust a Greek

You should never trust a Greek they're all dodgy.

It's ok its not racism because I'm Greek. Just treat this post like black on black violence.

You shouldn't trust me. It's not because I'm a lousy person; I'm not. Its because I'm Greek and, by default, shouldn't be trusted based purely on my racial proclivities.

Greek people don't like you. This is true. Go to Greece walk into any commercial shop, and if you get an iota of customer service, I'll give you free Yeeros for a year.

I probably won't give you free Yeeros for a year because I'm Greek and can't be trusted.

#NOTALLGREEKS

Yea, there are some good ones. But why take the chance?

Maybe when your Greek mechanic tells you the gearbox on your 2013 Corrola is completely stuffed, and he needs to replace the whole thing, it's true.

However, remember, he doesn't like you. He's also Greek. I wouldn't trust it. Get a second opinion.

Don't take it personally; it's got nothing to do with you. Greek people don't even like other Greeks.

Try to do business in Greece. I dare you. Greek bureaucracy is just a giant industry of Greeks being assholes to other Greeks and everyone else.

Greek bureaucracy makes first world bureaucracy look like a try before you buy brothel.

Greece isn't a first-world country. It's not a third-world country either. I know the correct terminology is "developing country." Still, you would have a better chance of developing a KKK headquarters in Mozambique than you would getting a permit to build a souvlaki shop in Athens.

Don't get me started on Greek builders. If you hire a Greek builder, don't get mad. He's the scorpion, and you're the frog.

This is true for lawyers, insurance salespeople, hairdressers, hospitality workers, and every other profession excluding fish and chip/charcoal chicken takeaway owners.

Greek people don't like to work. So if they have a job, you know somethings up.

Greek women are the worst of all the Greeks.

Greek women are otherworldly parasitic demonic entities who exist only to feed on your sanity.

Hellenic females operate like a giant intelligence gathering network. What you thought was a friendly chat with the old Greek lady down the road was actually a subtle, yet effective, interrogation. 

The information you so innocently provided spreads across the global Greek gossip hive within minutes, where it is cross-referenced with your existing file, fact-checked, and an action plan can be formulated on what's the best way to exploit you.

Did your wife leave you and you don't know what went wrong? Don't worry; there are middle-aged Greek women in Canada psychoanalyzing the entire situation right now. If you're rich, it was all her fault, and your new-found bachelorhood will be broadcast to hive centers in Greece then relayed out across the world in order find you a suitable, and Greek, replacement. If you're poor, then you're a loser, and she should never have married you, and you deserved everything she did to you.

If you marry a Greek woman, don't get mad. She's the scorpion, and you're an idiot. 

#NOTALLGREEKWOMEN

No, all Greek women. Trust me. Even Alexander The Great wouldn't touch 'em.

But it would be best if you didn't trust me. I'm Greek, remember? I was born with an inbuilt program that compels me to commit all manner of dodgiry, shirk hard work to the best of my ability and never provide service to my fellow man as this would be a sign of weakness.

It's in my blood I can't help it.

I also don't like you, and I don't know why.

But don't take it personally, I don't even like other Greeks.