The Rain bow after the Rain

How is it that some days...
We know in our heart that all is well.
All it takes to experience pure joy is to look at a flower.
And we automatically feel its beauty.
It’s life. It’s connection.
Divinity.

We laugh easily.
And Love reverberates in our being.

We don’t need hours of meditation.
We don’t need to accomplish anything.
No shoulds be’s. Or have-tos.
It takes nothing. it’s easy.
gratitude comes easy.
motivation comes easy.
we are just here.
we are just enough.

and other days or days in a row...
it feels all wrong.
You don’t feel enough.
You can’t snap out of it.
You’re stuck to your phone...to social media...waiting. Waiting..for something...anything..
hope is so far out of reach.
You know you’re not alone but...you are.
you may have intermittent joyful moments but the dark clouds are prominent.
The thoughts are persistent.
You don’t even want to get out of bed.
but you do.
and you go through your day.
Even though it all feels like a chore.

why?
Why are some days like this?
What is the core of this love/hate relationship.
Am I bipolar??
i don’t know for sure.

But I know it helps to change pace.
to get out of the house.
talk and connect with a friend.
another human.
get crazy just to stay sane.
to be wierd. surprise yourself. make yourself laugh.
And stop taking life so seriously.
to have something to look forward to.
An experience.
to hear from a friend that they love you.
To feel loved. To be accepted.
Because sometimes, we have a hard time loving ourselves.
to accomplish something and do it because we want to.
And to not give up on ourselves no matter what.
and do what is good for us even when it’s hard.

Because for this,
there is a reward
for getting up again.
it is the high after the low.
The color after the gray.
the rainbow after the rain.
It is SO
BEAUTIFUL.

And it is the beauty in understanding that it’s more than okay that none of this makes any sense.
and does all the same.