Purity for guys: Wait for your wife

The world has reduced sex to something of FAR smaller value then God originally made it. But there is another person who places absolute value on your purity, and values it more then anything material: Your future wife.

Even if you have not met her yet: Your loyalty to your future wife starts now.

Purity has many benefits, and this major one is easily overlooked.

If you have decided already that you one day want to be married, then the actions you commit today will affect that possible future. As a committed Christian, you can know a lot about your future wife long before you meet her. The Bible commands you not to be unequally yoked, if you faithfully abide by
this scripture then you already know that if you do get married, you will end up with a wife who:

Is committed to God
Has based her life on a Biblical moral code
Is willing to make God the foundation of your marriage
Will not want sex before marriage

So if you are not willing to compromise on your personal standards, you can assume you will marry someone with all the above characteristics. You know this, because you know you will never choose to marry someone who doesn't have them.

Having this perspective of your future marriage makes decision making in the present day much easier. It means you can see far enough ahead to recognize the effects the actions you choose today will have down the track.

Purity is the greatest gift you could ever give your wife.

It is a gift which shows her that in your entire life, out of all the people you ever met, you loved HER so much that she was the only one you choose to give yourself to completely. That you waited your whole life up until that point to save something SO special for the only one who would be worthy of it; the one who takes your last name.

To give her that gift, that knowledge, is far more valuable then any materialistic gift. That peace of mind and feeling of devotion from you will be priceless in your wife's heart.

God designed sex, but not to be used freely and without control. When it is used without control, is stops becoming positive and becomes absolutely destructive.

Sex was designed as a beautiful experience ONLY to be shared between a couple who have committed their lives to each other, for better or for worse, in marriage. One of it's purposes is to create unbreakable binds of marriage. Once you have sex with someone, you have given a part of yourself to them which is from that moment on irretrievable. It is essentially a soul joining experience, not a simple act that can be committed and then forgotten about. When you have sex, the other person has had you in that moment.

Divorce, distance nor time can take away the emotional consequences of that choice.

"and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one." Mark 10:8

To have made this commitment with another woman before going into a marriage with your wife, is a disastrous emotional foundation to a marriage.

This is of course why the Bible forbids it: to prevent us the inevitably bad consequences.

So if you have faith that you will one day marry, your loyalty to your future wife starts now.

Every choice you make now will have consequences, good or bad, in that marriage. Your purity is the greatest gift you can give to your future wife, and choosing to have sex before that marriage means that you lose that gift for her forever.

This also relates to other areas of your life, and other potential choices and temptations such as excessive alcohol consumption. Excessive alcohol puts you into a state where you partially lose cognitive control and your sense of judgment becomes misaligned. This can and will lead to you making choices that would defy your sober, rational thought, and such choices, such as easily falling into sex, can threaten your future.

So next time you are faced with a tempting choice, weather it be to drink in excess or even just putting yourself into a vulnerable situation by hanging around with the wrong crowd, consider: Am I putting my future marriage in jeopardy?

What can seem like a rather small, irrelevant choice now can very quickly become a regret that will haunt you for the rest of your life. It can quickly become something the consequences of which you can never completely be free of.

Past Mistakes

It's important here to address those who have already had sex before becoming committed to purity. If you have had sex before and now realized that it was something you wish you didn't do, it's not the end, and all is most certainly not lost. God sees you through 'sacrifice' colored shades... When He looks upon us, He sees Jesus' sacrifice and He can forgive us for everything... He is the God of forgiveness. Of course the key is that you have to truly change, in your heart and physically.... You simply come before God and confess that you have sinned in this way and once again fallen short of His glory... But that you are truly repentful and that you're truly sorry for your sinful nature and ways. Ask God to forgive you and wash you clean...
God is love (1 John 4:8) and love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 5).

When God forgives you, He doesn't just say "I forgive you", He actually washes your transgressions and you become clean in Christ.

Isn't that truly breathtaking? All the sin, all the horror, all the regret, all the emotional pain.... GONE!

This is what being born again means! The old you has literally CEASED to exist. Every time you confess, repent and ask God to take away your sin, this is what happens!

Asking for forgiveness, however, must be accompanied by a heart that truly seeks Godly purity.

You have to want to be pure.

Without truly wanting it, you will fall into old habits easily. God is the only one who can see your heart, and having a true heart for change is what matters to Him, so make sure your heart truly seeks God's ways before you approach Him in prayer.

What God offers is not only forgiveness but peace, a happy heart, and a new beginning... All of these things are priceless to us... no amount of money can buy them once they are lost... Only God's grace can provide for us. God payed a dear and terrible price so that He could give these things to those of us who ask and seek them...

Never forget how terrible the price was, never take for granted the sacrifice that took place for us. Jesus died for us because he wanted us to have this peace... So when you ask for forgiveness do so with a heart that passionately desires permanent change.

So if you have made this mistake in the past but want to turn things around now for your future and most of all to make God happy, then take the next opportunity you get to go somewhere private and alone, and just humbly pray to God and just give your heart to Him in your words and tell Him you
believe He will clean you of all your transgressions and make you new.

Once this is done you will feel AMAZING and will be ready to live a life of commitment to this oath. God and the angels are rolling on the streets of heaven in joy at this decision! Never underestimate how much the earnest heart means to God.

Perspective in tough situations

A simple way to gain perspective if you feel yourself being tempted is to unbiasedly ask yourself: What would my future wife choose to do in this situation?

Would she make a bad choice? Or would she be faithful to you already, living by the belief that one day you two will meet and you will be proud of her for staying pure her whole life?

This is the women you will spend the rest of your life growing closer too, and growing closer to God with.