Letter to a loved one (template) - What they need to know when you die

in #family7 years ago

last will.jpg

[Date]
Dear XX
PART 1 - ADD AN INTRODUCTION TO YOUR LETTER
• Tips:
o Thank your partner for the time you could spend with them.
o Share some of your most fond memories with them.
o Remind your partner that everything will be okay because you planned ahead. Remember this might be the last message you leave them so make it worthwhile! You know your partner, their needs and their way of dealing with problems so make sure you write for him / her. For example, if it is necessary to give them permission to travel overseas to mourn or to spend money on a lifelong dream, then use this opportunity to do so.

PART 2 - TELL YOUR PARTNER THAT YOU WOULD LIKE THEM TO KNOW ABOUT THE FOLLOWING ASPECTS:
PART 2.1 – FINANCIAL ASSETS
 Tips:
o The aim of this section is to inform your partner about all policies, savings, investments and other important assets, and more importantly, what they are meant for. For example you should explain what life cover policies you have as well as what they are meant for, such as settling debt, saving for your child’s education etc.
o Be specific enough so that your partner knows where to find the required information and documentation. Write at a level that your partner will understand.
o Where there are aspects that your partner will not be able to manage, advise them on who to contact for assistance, for example a trusted intermediary.
o Possible topics to discuss – Group Life Cover, Individual Life Cover, Group Retirement Benefits, Individual Retirement Benefits, Savings, Investments, Bank Accounts with cash reserves, Funeral Policies, Shares, Business interests, Trusts.
PART 2.2 –IMPORTANT LOCATIONS AND OTHER
• Tips
o The aim of this section is to inform your partner about where all the important documents are, what type of accounts you have and how to access these accounts. For example, you should explain where your will and policy documents are and where you have accounts (like Facebook).
o Be thorough and honest, remember you will not be there anymore so if you do not, for example, supply your login details for your social media profiles, your accounts will live on and this might cause pain to your loved ones.
o Also advise your partner on how to access the documents or accounts – it might be that they do not know where to find it in the first place or it might be locked up in places that your partner is not aware of, such as a vault at your workplace or an attorney.

PART 2.3 – SUMMARY OF WHAT TO DO
• Tips
o The aim of this section is to empower your partner to continue with the bills and accounts, as well as to inform your spouse about the process after death.
o Give a short overview of what happens after death and how, generally speaking, the estate administration process works.
o Help your partner to know where to start – advise them who to contact and who to ask for help, as well as what documents should be taken to this person. For example, you might refer them to a trusted attorney or a family member who can help them to get the estate administration process going. Remember to mention to this person that you will be making them the contact person in event of your death.
o Advise your partner on which accounts must be transferred to his / her name or paid until the estate administration reaches a point where the accounts can be transferred. For example, you might be the account-holder on important accounts such as your security company, your internet connection or your short-term insurance – advise your partner about these so that they remain in place even though you are not there anymore.
o Create a “financial survival guide” if your partner is not as financially savvy as you. Compile a collection of tips and tricks on how to budget, how certain type of accounts (for example a mortgage bond or vehicle financing) works and so forth. If necessary supply them with the current household budget and add some explanations on how it works and what they should do to continue using it.

PART 3 – CLOSING

• Tips:
o Reassure your partner and remind them that everything will be okay.
o Tell them that you love them once more.

NOTE: Please ensure that confidential information such as passwords are adequately protected as this might pose a security risk.

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Where there is love there is life.

- Mahatma Gandhi

Everyone needs to do this... instead of being thrown in the deep end it enables and empowers the one left behind to face and deal with all the paper work and Estate as well as the daily challenges and decisions that has to be made. It makes the mourning process less traumatic...

@janoed thanks for this post! It's defiantly a good idea for a person to write their 'Last Letter' when they are alive and healthy, before it 's too late. A lot of people towards the end of their life who is older or chronically ill tend to express a lot of regret. Regret for things they didn't do or that they did do and it caused a lot of hurt feelings and resentment. So, giving a person the idea of being able to write something down expressing their feelings is a great idea. I do think there is other templates in other languages out on the internet for the same thing here that you're posting. A lot of people will have a will or power of attorney drafted but a letter saying goodbye and all the things they never could say when they are alive is often overlooked and not done. I am glad you brought this up and posted it as it's a excellent idea!