Oh so quiet...

I have been quiet these past couple of weeks and I just have to accept that this is how it's going to be for me, whether I want it or not.

When I first started out on steemit, I spent many hours learning, particularly with @welcomewagon (I'm forever grateful to @dreemsteem). It was exhilarating and I enjoyed every minute of time spent reading, commenting, occasionally posting, and learning how everything is connected. The steemit community is truly phenomenal and I'm so grateful that I found it. I love it and will always be part of it.

However, deep inside I knew from the beginning that I wouldn't be able to expend that kind of energy and time consistently. I found myself neglecting a few other important things that needed regular attention. That didn't make me feel very good. And my organism doesn't take kindly to too much screen time either. My body, mind and soul seem to demand equal parts of outside, real life experience. But I think it is possible to live enough of the other life alongside steemit, it's just a matter of learning to distribute the time well. I think I got better at balancing it out by now.

The number one priority

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I live with my husband of twenty-seven years and life is pretty great. We love and respect each other and always have fodder for interesting conversation. We have lots in common but also plenty of our own individual interests, so it's all well balanced. We spend enough time together as well as doing our own thing. In that kind of space, dedicating time to steemit will never be a problem.

But as soon as my children come to visit, or I visit them, I'm gone. The love and desire to spend as much time as I can with them takes over and everything else takes a back seat. I'm literally incapable to dedicate any larger amount of energy to anything else when I have them close by. It's an interesting phenomenon.

When your children don't live where you live

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My kids left home pretty much straight after high school. The firstborn went on a gap year to Europe, then came home for a few weeks and then went to study in the big city. My younger one had just turned 17 when she left along with her sister. I was always okay with that, knowing that after growing up in a smallish, tropical town, they had to spread their wings and discover the rest of the world. I actively encouraged them to do so and I think, for the first few years, I kind of repressed how much I missed them. It was also super-exciting to watch them grow.

But then our friends lost one of their young and it hit us all with a force you can't know before something like that happens. I always treasured time spent with my children but now it became so precious that we make an effort to get together more frequently. It means 2 or 3-hour flights every time so we can't do it as often as we'd like, but we make the very best of it when we do manage a trip.

This is the reason why I spent almost no time on the computer when my younger one visited for a few days last week. It was wonderful, sometimes sad when we talked about and remembered our young friend, but mostly happy and excited about the future. We make plans to one day live closer together so we can see each other more, and I dream about grandchildren and the like.

Home, sweet home

Another thing that takes up some of my time and energy right now is the fact that the house we are renting has gone on the market. This means we have to keep it presentable for inspections at all times and may have to move if someone buys it who wants to live in it themselves. Fair enough. It's a nice house.

We usually don't mind renting, it has advantages. However, renting here in Australia is different to what we were used to from Switzerland. Less secure and you never know when you're on the move again. I kind of like it though, there's an element of excitement in finding a new place and exploring a new environment that I really enjoy. But it's also a lot of work and I definitely don't enjoy the intrusion into my privacy that's involved in this process until this house is sold. That I hate with a passion. All we can do is hope that it sells fast. Then we'll go with the flow. We have other plans for the future anyway but for right now, this is good so we'll stay if we can.

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A completely different thing I have to get off my chest...

A couple of weeks ago, a young woman was raped and murdered in Melbourne. I have no words for how sad this makes me feel. It also makes me want to bring mine home and lock them in their rooms which I know is completely irrational. But that was my thought apart from my great concern for the young woman's family.

And yet again there was a lot of talk about women having to take responsibility for their safety, and all the things women shouldn't do. As if women didn't already worry about their safety. As if we hadn't learned from a young age that sadly, there is some risk involved with moving about freely on our own. We all got into certain habits and mindsets that are designed to keep us safe. My daughters tell me they don't know many women who haven't had some sort of scary experience so they're constantly aware and take steps to keep safe. What else are women supposed to do? And what if even the safe options aren't safe?

It's majorly infuriating

Ok, prepare for a rant because I'm mad right now!! Two events that happened make me want to hit the stupid pricks over the head (and I'm normally a most peaceful person very much opposed to violence). But some people seem to be too stupid to understand anything, or maybe they just don't care.

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So, after her visit here, my girl catches an Uber home from the airport. They're already on the large road where she lives when the guy turns into a dark side road and stops the engine. He tells her he needs to check the map but he doesn't, he just stares at her. Then he asks her how old she is and whether she lives alone. She tells him she lives with her boyfriend, he asks if the boyfriend is home right now. I mean, WTF?? He then finally drove on when she asked him to.

Seriously, does it not occur to him that this would be extremely scary for any young woman in that situation? I tell her she has to report him to Uber and her response is, "but he knows where I live". And sure enough my work colleague tells me that a friend of hers once had an Uber driver come to her place and harass her after she made a complaint. What is a woman to do other than being mad?

The second incident happened to a friend of hers, only one day after the other woman was killed. One day! So she walks to her car after work (self-driving, you'd think that's the safest option of all). She notices two middle-aged men following her but she doesn't want to attract attention, thinking it's probably nothing. So she just keeps walking without looking back. But before she knows it, they have caught up with her and touch her from behind, shouting for her to come to their hotel with them. She literally has to fight them off before they eventually leave her alone, laughing. Again, WTF?? She did report it to the police but there is not much chance they find them.

Now, compared to what happened to the other woman, both these incidents seem minor. Nothing happened. Many people would shrug and tell these young women not to make a fuss. But it's not nothing!! It's undermining women's confidence and sense of personal safety. It's making women miss out on social and other experiences when they know it would be difficult to get home safely. It's making women unreasonably worried and thinking about being attacked rather than what fun they had. That is not nothing!!

And while I know that the majority of men are not like that, but are decent, respectful and mindful of women and their experiences, there is obviously an element in our society who thinks that such behaviour is somehow okay. It is not! Not ever!! And I think it's not enough if women tell those men that it's not okay. That type of men doesn't care about what women think or feel, or maybe they really are too stupid to even consider what impact their behaviour has. But perhaps if more men (the decent, mindful kind) would stand up and tell them off, they'd stop and think the next time. One can only hope.

Self-pampering

Sorry for the rant but thanks for reading up to here. I do think it's an important topic and I suspect everyone who has young daughters has their own thoughts about it.

I will now go and have a lovely hot bath using a lavish, natural, heavenly smelling bath bomb my children sent me for my birthday. That will calm me down and warm me up (it is a rather chilly tropical winter evening).

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All photos sourced from pixabay

Until next time, peace be with you!