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RE: Fate - Read or listen to the story

in #fiction6 years ago (edited)

I loved this, the story is simple, the message is clear and the scarecrow life is messed up!! you had me waiting for the twist in the ending, I knew there would be one.

And:

He saw his arm (yes, with no eyes, that’s how scarecrows work), long,

This part broke the immersion for me, in this story it felt good... But I want to tell you to know 'when' to break the readers immersion as a writer. As it's considered weak writing, only do it on purpose.

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Thanks! Yeah, I know, it was a bit out of line, I actually cut it out in the voice version because it didn't sound good. I left it in in the written version, though, I kind of grew fond of it ;)