My conversation with a pig

Me : Hey, what's up buddy ?
Pig : Are you here to buy my dead body ?

Me : Uh - I wouldn't it put it quite that way, but yeah, that's what I intend to do
Pig : How sweet of you ! And would it be you chopping my head off, or - ?

Me : Uh, no the butcher
Pig: Ah, the butcher yes....

Me : Yeah, I can't stand all this violence and the blood stuff
Pig : Oh I totally understand, you seem like a nice guy....

Butcher : Good evening Sir ! How's your day been ?
Me : Hey ! Been good, thank you. I wanted to buy uh , some pork , we have some guests coming over tonight

Butcher : Sure, I think this pig here would be a good choice, did you get a chance to introduce yourself to your dinner ?
Me : Well, we had a brief conversation

Pig : We could continue it tomorrow, if you like
Me : Well, I'll certainly be having a pig with a good sense of humor for dinner tonight, that's for sure

Pig : Well, I would suggest that you try out my liver and my heart. They should be pretty delicious !
Me : Yuck ! That's gross !

Pig : Why ? Don't you eat pig liver or heart ?
Me : Uh I do - but to hear it from you, oh please don't say that again

Pig : I'm sorry, anyways, do try out the meat on my thighs and my chest - I bet they would be pretty tasty !
Me : My head is spinning

Pig : Okay, bartender. Let's make this quick then before our customer drops dead to the floor. Do you want to shoot me in the back
of the head or cut my head off with that knife ?
Bartender : Give me a minute, I'll just load the rifle.

Pig : Good idea !
Me : What ? Wait a minute ? You actually want me to eat you ?

Pig : Yeah, seems like a good idea to me
Me : What ? This is absurd ! I refuse to eat you ! No !

Pig : Why not ?
Me : I don't want to eat an animal that wants me to eat it.

Pig : But you would eat one which does not want to be eaten by you ?
Me : Precisely ! Well, that does not much sense does it ?

Pig : It doesn't take a human brain to tell that it doesn't make much sense.
Me : Huh....

Butcher : The gun's all loaded. You ready Pig ?
Pig: I can't wait !
Me : No wait - I need time, I can't - can't -

Pig : What's the problem ?
Me : I don't know....

Pig : I'll tell you what the problem is. You thought it would be just okay for you to walk into a store and buy a pig for dinner,
but it's harder than you thought.
Me : Yes, I wish it were not so hard. It would be if you never talked !

Pig : Geez. But now that I've started talking, let us talk some more. Why do you think it's okay to kill and eat a pig like me ?
Me : Cos I'm a human and you're an animal

Pig : Ah yes ! The I'm a Human Argument. This same argument was used by racists when they said "I'm a White, you're a black,so you
are my slave" and by sexists who said "I'm male,you're female, so you will listen what I tell you" You sir, are not a racist or a
sexist, but you most certainly are a Speceist
Me : What's a speceist ?

Pig : Someone who says " I'm in the species homo sapiens.You are not.Therefore, I can eat you"
Me : But it is okay for me to eat you, because of a number of reasons

Pig : Give me one
Me : Well, because humans are more intelligent than animals

Pig : By your argument, it would be all right for Einstein or Newton to eat people like you every day for dinner, because ofcourse,
they are far more intelligent than you
Me : Well-
Pig : It is also all right for you to eat a one month year old human baby since the baby is not even as intelligent as a fully
grown pig or cow.
Me : Okay maybe I was wrong to say intelligence as a factor.You surely are too smart for a pig. Which school did you go to ?

Pig : Would you eat another human being ?
Me : Never
Pig : Think again.I've heard human meat tastes just like chicken ! And it's got a lot of proteins too !
Me : That's gross - no I wouldn't kill another human for my dinner
Pig : What if the human died in an accident ? Why bury the body when you can eat it?
Me : No way !
Pig : Or let us take the example of mentally disabled children who have been abandoned by their parents. They are not even as
intelligent as fully grown cows or pigs like me ! Why not eat them as well ?
Me : You bloody pig !
Pig : You hypocrite speciest !

Butcher: Let's not fight over this.Let's peacefully shoot the pig in the head with a bullet or gently and humanely cut his head off from the rest of his body, and I'll pack the pieces up for you
after washing the blood
Me : No - I want to teach this pig a lesson. Who is he to teach me my ethics ?

Pig : I am a pig
Me : Yes, a pig ! What do you suggest I do then ? I need to eat to survive

Pig : When you are about to kill something, or eat something the question you must ask is : Can it suffer ?
Me : Can it suffer ?

Pig : Yes - can a fully grown pig or cow suffer ?
Me: Uh..how do I know to what degree an animal can suffer when compared to the suffering of humans ?

Pig: The answer is quite straight-forward. The capacity to suffer is measured by how developed the animal's nervous system is.
Therefore,killing a cow or a pig or a human would cause enormous suffering,killing a chicken would cause slighly less pain,and killing
a fish would cause slightly lesser.Howevr, killing any plant life would cause significantly lesser levels of pain as compared to
that of anything which has eyes and can move around. Thus, it is more ethical to have a vegetarian or plant based diet.

Me : Hmm, I would have never thought of that, but it makes sense, I guess
Pig : Do you have a dog at home ?

Me : Yup I do.One of the greatest joys of my life.
Pig : Would you ever consider eating him ?

Me : Uh no.
Pig : Why are you so selective ? You should be okay with eating a cat or a dog if you are okay with eating a chicken or a cow.

Me : Bartender, can I just pay for the pig and have him without having him killed ?
Bartender : Uh, that's a first, but sure yeah

Pig: Do you want to fry me alive ? That would be an exciting idea ! Something on my bucket list a long time now
Me : Nope, I just want to set you free

Pig : Forget it- it won't make any difference to the violence committed against millions of pigs and cows and chickens around the
world
Me: Well, it makes a difference to you. And to me.And hopefully to the kind hearted person reading this, who I bet would be so
generous to share this with the world.

Image source -
https://kids.nationalgeographic.com/content/dam/kids/photos/animals/Mammals/H-P/pig-fence.adapt.945.1