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RE: Glade's Edge: Part I - Swords of St Valentine

in #fiction7 years ago

*Rhainyr lay awake watching the stars as wisps of fog made them blink in and out of sight. I love that simple opening line, all the more because you know the correct use of lay vs lie! And the final line - glancing back, disappearing into "the press of night" -- I can't even explain it, how four ordinary words put into a sentence are transformed into something extraordinary, but you did it. This is... just...brilliant!!

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Hey. Your first line and last line sort of rhyme. On some subliminal level - the reader isn't likely consciously noticinng - this might be part of the magic.

I love subliminal elements. Next time I'll have to consciously add them. And thanks for pointing it out. That sounds like a neat trick to play with.