Literature Evangelists

in #fiction5 years ago (edited)

Hanulfo and I are standing next to the Regal in a mostly white neighborhood in Santa Ana. Hanulfo bows his head in prayer, “Lord, I ask that you will touch the people’s hearts before we arrive at their doorsteps… Lord we ask that you ‘fill in the low spots and level off the high spots’ as we go along, emissaries for the King of Kings.” Hanulfo pauses a little and ends his prayer, “Amen.”

“Okay, brother here we go,” Hanulfo lifts his head. “This is it. Will I go first, and you pray while I talk to the people, or will you go first?” I opt to go first, then walk up to the house we are parked in front of and knock. A gray-haired man comes to the screen door.

“Sir, could we take a few minutes of your time to talk about the word of God?”

“No thanks, I already donated at the shop to the Mission of Burma fund.”

“Oh no sir we’re not asking for a donation,” Hanulfo buts in. “We want to share some materials we have that will enhance your life greatly.”

“Nnnaa…, na, I don’t think so.” The man walks away from the screen door down a short hallway to his living room where he sits, still within our sight, and resumes watching his interrupted T.V. show.

“Are you sure we can’t convince you to let us come in and share the word of God with you?” my partner implores.

The man, enraptured in the T.V. program, ignores us.

It’s only a little after five and many people aren’t home from work yet, but eventually, we gain entry into a house. A housewife with a cigarette in one hand and a cocktail in the other invites us to have a seat on the living room couch. Hanulfo is a bit nervous as he goes through his prepared presentation.

“You see the permissive society,” he points to pictures in his folder depicting what our organization views as the seedier elements of America. The woman begins to show disinterest as he forgets his next line.

“Oh ma’am it is a big problem…! All of these bad people doing all of these things. You see…, you see these people they are making Jesus sad and we need to stop the bad things… The people smoking the marijuana, taking the LSD having the sex outside of marriage. Our society is a terrible thing.”

“I don’t need you to come in here spoutin’ off this stuff,” the woman abruptly interrupts. “My brother’s a speed-freak and I don’t need your judgmental attitude in my house tellin’ me what to do!”

We don’t make any sales that evening and stop around eight o’clock.


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The next day, a guy about thirty years old with slightly unkempt sandy brown hair invites us in.

“Have a seat,” the guy motions to a tan vinyl couch. He sits cross-legged on a cushion with a coffee table between us.

Hanulfo goes through his whole speech roughly and a little nervously but without any major foul-ups then asks, “Are any of these books I have here an interest to you?”

The man seems broken from a trance at this question.

“Do you know what a Shao Lin warrior is?” the guy changes the subject completely throwing Hanulfo a curveball.

“Wh…wh…what?” Hanulfo confused, replies.

“A Shao Lin warrior,” this time the guy stands and strikes a fierce Kung Fu stance, kicks the air lightning fast, then returns to his cushion.

“No…, I don’t know what that is,” Hanulfo answers.

“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard of that ridiculous nineteen-seventies television show called 'Kung Fu.' ” I nod affirmatively as the guy stares waiting for some recognition. “That was total garbage… But anyway, David Carridine’s character was a Shao Lin warrior. I have been studying the ways of the Shao Lin monks for five years now.”

“Oh that is very interesting,” Hanulfo starts in. “But we have something that is of even more importance to your spiritual life.” Throughout the conversation, this man is working on rolling a number of cigarettes by hand. It’s obvious to me that the guy is rolling tobacco—but not to Hanulfo. This guy puts one of his cigarettes in his mouth and reaches for a lighter lying on the coffee table.

“Ah…sir…,” Hanulfo interrupts. “Please…, I beg of you not to smoke that in my presence… It is no small matter to me… I beg of you, wait until we leave. Or better yet.., sir, pray with me right now. Get on your knees with me right now and ask the Lord to relieve you of this affliction.”

The guy looks a little surprised, but puts the lighter down.

“Well, sorry to tell ya, I don’t think I’m gonna be buyin’ any books today. But thanks for stoppin’ by.” The young man stands up and walks in the direction of the front door implying that he is seeing us out and we take the hint.

“Yeah, you know…,” Hanulfo is going on a few minutes later as we sit at a picnic table in a nearby park, “just like you, I used to live that whole lifestyle… It was when I was in Brazil a few years back. I would go to the party, drink the beer, smoke the drugs, have sex with the girls…and I just couldn’t stand to sit there and watch him smoke that.”