The Dawn in My Life..

Someone does not understand what I want to be loved. Because he had never seen me for a long time, nor had he ever looked at me. He acts as if he understands me completely, as if through the centuries of life with me. The man was annoying, he only gave me three irrefutable choices. Love, friendship or not both. I always wanted to add some options, but the stubborn guy was really hard to argue with.

Fajar Giantara, the man as warm as dawn in the morning. Friends are unlucky only to a friend. We've been friends since kindergarten, until the next eleven years my friend's title is still eternally inherent in me. One time when the sun still stands proudly and the year still stands at the 13th number after my birth year, the man offers a truly seductive option. It looks like my brain is still functioning well, I stayed in a sickening friend zone. I do not want my friendship to end if love in the end has to end. I wanted to be his beloved friend, or to be a love that always accompanied him, but Looks like Dawn would not let me create such a choice.

Looks like I should be a little sorry, Dawn has crawled not within the reach of my sight. I was shackled in a starless night. The needle of the compass was reluctant to point me at where the dawn was, it really made me want to strangle my own neck. Dawn has been to the world of pesantren in Tasik there, until the distance I can not afford only capitalize frills "friends". I'm not his love.



My pain has accumulated so much, my sweat has flooded to the top of the crown. I was sick and tired with that one man. He used to be dating my best friend, when he knows I'm his friend like this jerk. But the pain can still subside with tears. While the presence replaced by the wind makes me tortured to want to die its taste.
I missed the smiling Dawn every morning.

"Twilight!" The woman I called the mother shouted. I did not answer, but still dragged my legs toward his foot.

"Mother heard from Mrs. Siska your friend got married, right?" I winced in.
"My friend? Which friend? "I asked nonchalantly.
"Your kindergarten friend, whose child is Mrs. Lesi." I was shocked, of course. I like to meet the angel of death, silent not move.

"Dawn?" I asked in a low voice.
"Ah .. Yeah Dawn that's high body. Mother heard the boy was impregnating the child. "Mother shook her head" Children today. "
"It's a good thing, anyway it's just a rumor, not necessarily true. And what I know Dawn is at the pesantren. "I comfort myself. Mother just shrugged her shoulders.

Has not it been so obvious that the man ruined me?
My legs limped at the same news from my friends. It is hard to believe that Dawn is not a depraved man, whoever I should trust right now, another person or my own heart. I could not believe Dawn, because Fajaku did not give any explanation, not even word.
What other fate wants to play with me?

The year has passed, longing to have exploded from the container. The fact makes me shrink to express myself with longing, until I bind myself in the night.
One vibration on my cell phone changed everything. Either happy or angry that I have to show. The man's name was printed on a square screen in my hand.

"Hello!" The sounds of the others still like before, the sounds of these ears are always candui.
"Hh ..." To say I have no strength.

Dusk .. You're still there? "He even remembered my name, there was a feeling of comfort just spreading.
"Hmm .. Yeah Jar." My voice remained soft.
"I miss the Twilight."
"But I do not miss the dull Dawn!" My chest tightened, my cry broke out just like that. How can there be such a wicked creature?

"I'm sorry, but I did not do all that, it's not my son ..."
"Stop, do not discuss it. After a year you do not call me, and suddenly you discuss your dilemma problem! "I cut off his question with a cry.

"I love Dusk!" He said firmly.
"You are mentally ill! You've got a wife and even a child Jar! And why did not you say that first! "
"I've tried to give you the choice of Dusk, you prefer us to be friends. Do not ever forget your choice! "He asserted.
"You are selfish, you love choice without anything I can choose."

"I love Dusk!"
"You've been with someone else Dawn."
"I love Dusk!" He kept saying the same word annoyed me.
"You've become Father Jar, you do not deny it!" My voice hoarse.

"That's not my son, Irine lies to everyone. I'm just Love Twilight, where only Dusk where Dawn passed. Like the fate of a scribbled god. "



I closed the Telephone connection from her. Indecision demanded me to be silent in my fragility. I love him, as much as I hate him. How am I to live well?

I remained standing in my silence, in my heavy dilemma, in my many tears. But the essence of my life is only for the place where she goes, as she said a week ago. I still hate him, suck him and love him for life.

So what should I do?