From the Heart That Ever Hoped Apart from Him

"How wrong and sinful you are to God and your husband later, if you imagine and think of someone who is not halal for you"

Five months ago, exactly since he and I sat on the same lecture bench. That afternoon, I was looking for a book to write a paper on, and finally found the book I was looking for.
But unfortunately because my body is too short, my hand can't reach to pick up the book on the top shelf. And this is the fifth time I tried to pick up the book while tiptoeing, but the result was nil.

"Can I help get it!" someone said to me which made me a little surprised because suddenly his figure was behind me.
"Yes, if you don't report" I replied shortly, then he took the book I wanted to take and gave it to me.
"Thank you" I said while taking the book he handed me.
"All right, until we meet again" he replied which made me frown.

The next day I returned to the library to return the book I borrowed yesterday. We accidentally met again while queuing to return the book.
He also greeted me "hi, you're the one I took the book from yesterday, right?"
"Yes" I answered while smiling at him
"We haven't met yet!" My name is Hari, what about you?" while extending his hand to shake hands.
"My name is Biru, greetings too" while closing both my hands to look a little polite while rejecting his hand thrust, and he smiled shyly while pulling his hand.

"Brother, let's go to class because there is a lecturer!" shouted my friend.
"I'm first" I said goodbye to him, he responded with a nod and a smile.

When we were on the way to class, my friend Nia asked about my discussion with Hari earlier.
"If I'm not mistaken, I saw you talking to Hari earlier, right?" Nia asked
"Yes, how do you know?"
"You know he was my friend in high school, Miss, how come you know him?"
"Well, yesterday I went to the library to look for books. Eh, when I found the book on the top shelf I couldn't take it." I said to Nia seriously.
"What's going on?" Nia answered curiously.
"Suddenly he offered to help, what can I do because I still need the book, so I accepted the offer."
"Haha so sweet, you two are so rich on FTV." Nia said with a laugh.
"You're welcome, let's go to class already!" I said while stepping away from him first.

Since my second meeting with Hari, we often meet in the library to discuss lecture materials that I have not yet understood. And don't forget my friend Nia, she also came with us. Even Nia is like a macomlang among us who often seduces us.

I am a person who is easily carried away by feelings, and easily carried away by the atmosphere. Since then we often exchange news with each other, even he often talks about trivial things. Unbeknownst to me, I finally made it one of the most important names in my life.

This is one of his messages that secretly made me blush "don't forget to eat my blue sky! because if you are sick there is nothing else to make the days of a Hari colorful"
Which woman does not easily fall in love with a man like you, with an attractive appearance, intelligent, and fun and connected when invited to discuss and exchange opinions.

But lately I haven't seen him anymore, even now there are no more messages from him. On the way home I saw Hari with a woman, Hari put a helmet on the woman's head and then they got on a motorcycle and just left.

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I don't know why after seeing it my heart broke into pieces, as if unwilling and disbelieving. I was curious and then intended to ask Nia who the woman was "maybe Nia knows" I thought

I looked for Nia and immediately asked her "hmm, I accidentally saw Hari with someone earlier, I guess who is Hari?" I asked Nia,
listening to her say Hari just got a boyfriend who happened to be in her class" Nia's answer seemed to destroy the debris of hope that I had built up, but it was destroyed just like that.
"Hmm like that" I answered shortly and tried to hide my disappointment.
"Oh, you don't know yet, that Hari is a playboy. I like to be close to a lot of girls like that. Sorry, I forgot to tell you. In the end, I thought he wasn't like that anymore"

After hearing all that I could only smile at Nia, because indeed this was not entirely Nia's fault.
I should have realized, from the beginning he didn't intend to be serious, let alone love me. He only broke my heart, because of my own doing. No, not because of his fault. But this is my fault for hoping too much for him who is uncertain.

I remembered the words of my school friend five months ago when we met and he confided in me that "girls are easy to fool"
But he should know and be sensitive to the fact that women are easy to fool, because women prioritize feelings over logic.
But why in various cases of hope is always the woman who is blamed because of her easy nature. He, and all men should know that women are easily manipulated. Even come and go as they please, leaving behind a million hopes. If you really want to give certainty, and come to his house to meet his guardian. Not just giving hope without thinking about how women feel.

"When your heart hopes too much for someone, then God puts on you the pain of a hope, so that you know that God is very jealous of the hearts that hope other than Him. So God prevents you from those things so that you hope in Him again." (Imam Shafi'i)

Now I understand, I used to make Him jealous, and He loves me for keeping me away from Him so that I no longer hope for anything but Him.

Short Story Essay: Penaabiru
Blog / Facebook: Sopi
penaabiru is my pen name. I am currently studying for an undergraduate degree majoring in the History of Islamic Civilization at UIN Sultan Maulana Hasanuddin Banten.
Write for God's sake and for you to be happy. But you should never forget the Al-Qur'an, because the Al-Qur'an is your true friend in the afterlife.

The Short Story From the Heart That Ever Hoped Apart from Him is a short story written by Penaabiru , you can visit the author's special page to read his latest short story.

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