I took them back to my place and they locked me out. Then, they screwed my dog and drank my vodka.

It was two days ago on a cloudy morning when an alien spaceship landed on the roof of my house. As it settled onto the roof, two aliens stepped out. The aliens had beady black eyes that seemed to pop out of their overlarge heads like demonic golf balls with only three unshapely fingers on each hand and four widespread toes on their feet. They looked like frogs that had somehow gone wrong halfway through conception.

Then they walked up to me, their feet making squishy noises against the cold, wet ground. Then they said "Take me to your bathroom!"

I took them back to my bathroon and they locked me out. Then, they screwed my dog and drank my vodka.

The extraterrestrial visitors had carnal knowledge of my canine companion and imbibed the entirety of my supply of Russian spirits.

Finally they painstakingly destroy the whole house, jubilating and returning to the mother ship with shouts of mission accomplished.

They stumbled out to their ship and got onboard with big smile faces. I could see through the tiny window, one was waving goodbye with one finger whilst me and my dog sat down on the wrecked.