Rachel (Fifty Word Short)
You had me run, seven years to Leah, seven years back. You pursed your lips at my proposals, and batted your painted, half-shut eyelids, sealed the chapter I breathlessly penned.
Now I’m all run out. You’re gone. I’m alone. This life bites my heels. Where’s Leah when you need her?
Okay, so, every time I'd read the story of Rachel and Leah in the Bible, I'd always ship Jacob and Leah. Yeah yeah, I know, maybe it's my laziness speaking. Like, Rachel couldn't have been worth fourteen entire years. Plus Leah really dug Jacob. I know, technically they "ended up together" because they got married or whatever, but it's apparent that Jacob didn't give Leah a second look.
Kinda like Eponine in Les Miserables. Holy crap, she was the obvious catch. Forget Cosette and her stupid castle on a cloud. I can hardly stand that song anyways.
Okay, all that to say, this isn't about Rachel and Jacob, but more of a real-life parallel and this is the "after the happily." This is when Rachel turns out to be a cheat or dies or whatever you want and the Jacob/Marius realizes (actually realizes) that Leah/Eponine was the one that was actually there for them. It's a weird dynamic that applies to a lot of situations.
I always end up talking too much after my fifty word stories, and I know, "Let the story speak for itself," but Steemit likes longer posts generally. This is probably still too short to get anything, but ya know what? Money is a construct. You're a construct. This world is a construct. Nothing's real. Go lock yourself in a trunk.
Let's try that again.
Woah! Thanks for reading! This is for @jayna's 50-word challenge, and she's awesome, so go check it out.
Yes, @jayna, this story is exactly fifty. Check it for youself!
I hope y'all have a good day! God bless <3
![image.png](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQma1LHrN2re75ZkLReZMHsBDsmHDR3YHRi1dAcnjtYMwkM/image.png)
Great stuff... the story was expertly penned.. but I especially liked your after story.. Great insight and very funny too at the end :o)
Thank you so much!!
Like with @anikekirsten's short story, I enjoyed the backstory almost as much (more than?) the story itself.
But don't mind me. I'm just a construct.
Constructs are allowed attention, just not, ya know, real emotional involvement. That'd suck for everyone in the long run. :P
Thanks for peeping my story tho! :D
Awesome piece. I love the line: This life bites my heels!
Aww shucks! Thanks!
Very, very intriguing...
That bible story is one of the most fascinating to me, filled with pathos, intrigue, frustration and emotion.
Thanks for reminding me of it!
😄😇😄
![@creatr](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWvzuqZ51DoiSjXXf8bukb7JeeVV1eAJJhGBkDiYc8ajj/creatr_ap.gif)
You're welcome! Thanks for stopping by!
You've summed up the device used in many stories well with your 50-worder, Caleb. Had me thinking about it all day. So much to take from it. Lovely!
Wow! Thank you so much! :D
You never fail to amaze me, @caleblailmusik! Great 50-word story, first of all, and the discourse on the ideas behind it are also priceless. I love it when people provide a backstory or some thinking around what went into the story, or how it came into being. Love it. Thank you!
Aww, thanks!!
Truth be told, I did this whole thing just for Jayna affirmation :PPPP
Jk. Or maybe njk. I don't know.
Fierce warrior-woman Eponine, vs that sheltered Cosette (never mind her rough beginnings at the orphanage) -- YES, YES, and Leah, and all the strong women who get overlooked - there are more, I know, and I can't think of them right now. Thanks for this, Caleb!!
Wow! You're welcome! I love your enthusiasm <3
If you meant to exhaust your readers, you have ably succeeded!
I'm not sure what you mean by that. Can you explain?
Sure. You have created a mood with lots of running back and forth.
I was quite exhausted imagining 14 years of running (my own interpretation)... whether it was literal or not .
The mood is further reinforced with the following words.
Ahhh. I gotchu. Thank you for your insight :D
You're most welcome :)
First of all, excellent piece! Secondly, I always feel the exact same way everytime I read about Jacob and Rachel. This was a creative way to include the prompt.
Thank you! I'm glad you could connect with it :D
Run in this story has me feeling like its running for a lifetime. I know you wrote 7 years, but still it seems so long. Great writing!
Thank you so much!