50 Word Story Contest Week #13

in #fiftywords • 8 years ago (edited)

What happened to Ned??

Greetings! I found out about the 50 word contest while reading a comment on a steemian's introduceyourself blog. Someone mentioned it, so I looked into it. I was not sure if the story had to be 50 words since the rules do not mention it...only the title implies a 50 word limit. Nevertheless I made the story 50 words just in case. It wasn't easy, but it was fun!

Francis hid. A shoe crept by.
On the floor Francis sat
Unsure.
Ned surveyed the room. Francis
Darted past. Ned violently grabbed her
Arm. Francis escaped
Taking careful steps as
If playing a game. She leaped
On a plank, Ned yelled with frustration. He fell thru the floor...
No foundation.

Please vote and follow if you enjoyed!

#foundation #shortstory #fiction #poetry
8 years ago in #fiftywords by
$0.00
    2 votes
    Reply 3
    Sort:  
  • Trending
    • [-]
     8 years ago 

    I like the first sentence "Francis hid."
    You actually used a rhetorical device called "Media Res".
    Media Res is when you start a story in the middle of an action.

    [-]
     8 years ago 

    Mi Likey!! Thank you for that tidbit.

    $0.00
      Reply
      [-]
       8 years ago 

      Congratulations @righteousr! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

      You got a First Reply

      Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honnor on SteemitBoard.
      For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

      If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

      If you want to support the SteemitBoard project, your upvote for this notification is welcome!