RE: The Cockroach Rules: Finish the Story Contest #45
Don't f*ck with the cockroaches
I absolutely love this! Taking the cockroach perspective, shifting the focus of the story and using the opportunity to create your own character, and my word you play the cockroach facts so well in there! Enjoyable and education! <3
How you play Tres in this works really well, the step away, and then referring to him as The Thing (which adds to the cockroach point of view so well), him as a bounty to the cockroaches, the human body viewed as a resource instead of as a being, the way the cockroaches approach it, going for the 'good' stuff in the feast. The very ending just caps this perfectly, calling him human again, and once again showing him in the light of a person, injured and presumably dead, shown through the eyes of those who find him. You create this sense of evolution in the way you show Tres, the man, the meal, the man again, that gives a wider sense of perspective, the relationship between things, and their place in the world. To the band, he may be a kick ass bass player, but through the eyes of the cockroaches, he is no greater than the sum of its parts. Which is just how he saw the cockroach. Hmmm there is a lot in this, i could probably go on for a while longer about the depth visible on reflection here. The contrast between the mayhem of the first human half, and the organised coordination, and team work of the cockroaches. Damn, gunna stop before you get an actual essay, very good ending!
Thank you! You make me sound better than I am :)
I have to say, this one poured out like melted butter. I'm a Kafka fan, and that cockroach caught my attention as good material for a story. F3nix gave the bug a personality...I just took his cue and carried the character to an absurd extreme.
Appreciation from a writer with your skills is high praise indeed.