vents of a "former" liberal feminist

Why "Not So Fminist", you may ask? Ten years ago, whenever people asked me who I am, I would answer, "I'm an Iranian radical feminist, an atheist, and a liberal who believes in freedom of speech and equal rights and opportunity for everyone." But it all changed when I immigrated to the US, and dealt with radical "feminists", and "liberals" in the US. Funnily enough, I still believe in all the principles that I believed in, ten years ago, but now I hesitate to attach myself to those groups . I came to the US, seven years ago, and right away, I started my graduate studies in English and Liberal studies. At first, I enthusiastically focused on feminist discourse, but I constantly found myself disagreeing with feminist theorists whose books I was assigned to read, and butting head with my uber feminist professors.
As if I was not feminist or liberal enough, and should be taught what "true" feminism/liberalism is. I should fix my views.
The situation exacerbated when I spent a year as a Ph.D. student at Howard university, where I believed to be an open platform to study and analyze diverse ideas. I was wrong. Soon I came to realize that "diverse" has a very rigid definition at "the prestigious" institution, and liberalism is measured by the degree to which you devote your mind and actions to their ideologized version of liberalism. What I found most frustrating about the liberals and activists ( feminists/LGBTQ and racial minority) in the US, was their humorless, puritan, and almost militant definition of liberalism. Gradually I started to feel that liberalism in the US, is a religion. Either you are a "true" and pious believer, or a heretic that should be silenced.
I left my country because the theocratic Iranian government used its power to break people into submitting to one true religion defined by them. So I was horrified when I realized that concepts such as liberalism and feminism that helped me survive in Iran were used in the US- by people who identified themselves as liberals- to silence the opposition.
I am opposed to the idea that there is such a thing as a "true" feminist/liberal. There is no singular definition or a mold that encompasses all that there is to a feminist/liberal. I see feminism/liberalism as coalition of theories and outlooks whose goal is to open up the social space for everyone, regardless of race, gender, or sexuality. I don't see liberalism/feminism as a fixed identity, but a vehicle that allows EVERYONE to live a life in which they are not shamed, traumatized, or held back for who they are. To me creating a list of enemies of liberalism and using public shaming to force them into silence or submition is shameful.
Of course the main enemy to the church of liberalism is the white man. Specially the one that does not accept his role as the historic oppressor of all, and does not constantly apologize for who he is. Then there are women, or racial minorities who do not agree that they have been the eternal victims of the white man's tyranny. The ones who recognize the inequalities, but are not comfortable to submit to the narrative of their absolute abjection. The ones who do not believe destroying the white man solves all their problems. I belong to the second category, so my feminism was deemed diluted. I soon realized that I made the "liberals" around me uncomfortable because I did not fit their image of a middle eastern woman. They expected me to be their meek and voiceless middle Eastern woman who they get to give voice to and set free. I was too loud, too confident, and too sexual for their expectations. So I was viewed as a minority and a woman who should be reminded of her place as a victim. They decided that my autonomy was due to lack of self awareness, or depth of subconscious servitude towards the patriarchal state that oppressed me.
But it was not the case. I just believe that power dynamics in society are more complex than finding one main oppressor and blaming everything on him. I do not believe, even in most extreme cases of power disparity, any individual holds the absolute power, or is absolutely powerless. There is always space for any inempowered individual to exert some degree of autonomy. To me the power game is a constant dance to the song of equality. My sin (in the eye of liberals) was that I was not willing to eliminate my dance partner/my oppressor to achieve absolute power.
But my fight as a liberal feminist was never to gain supremacy over men. I do not believe women are inherently better than men. And I cringe whenever a feminist suggests that the world would be a better place if it was run by women leaders. My version feminism/liberalism advocates for women/minorities to not be held back if they have the potential to be great leaders. The goal is not to take down all men indiscriminately.
I am starting this blog to criticize the aspects of feminist/liberal movement that I find to be counterproductive to bringing about social equality. I also will write about the social structure in the west, social media and power system. I may write stories or just vent about my day, or everyday news. I need to vent, and I need to analyze. Come along if you want to read, and converse. I'm one of the last of the dying species of liberals who's

open to humor and dialougue.