My Bench Press Progress : The Negative Thoughts

I took a two day break of strength training and today we worked on biceps. My arms by the end of the workout felt tight and stiff. With the help of my bro in law trainer, I was able to do 50lb bicep curls and 40lb curls on my own. I saw my own progress of watching two women bench press just the bar and 60lbs both just stopped after the adding the two smaller plates on each side.

Despite my arms feeling like delicate ramen noodles at the end of bicep day (I ate ramen before going to the gym) , I attempted to bench press. I realized my problem is I compare myself to watching women training for a long time with heavier weight on Instagram this goes for both bench pressing and deadlifts. While waiting for an open bench, I watched a man next to me bench the two 45 lb plates. For a guy that's easy to bench that low weight for their biological features, that's my major milestone to bench as a woman. I don't care how long it's going to take and I don't care how tired I feel outside of a chest day to bench. I don't want to forget that my journey started almost months and I couldn't even keep the just the bar straight going up when benching.

Our negative mindset about ourselves is our worst enemy. I'm my worst enemy the heavier I am lifting with bench presses and deadlifts. I have my own fears of reinjuring my knees that's stopping me from attempting to strengthen my knees by implementing the last powerlifting category- squads. Those negative thoughts from anxiety and depression is as real in our minds. It affects me still to this day but those demons that have to be silenced with each lift I do.

I understand that the key to achieving anything in life is not just motivation but also discipline. My really expensive masters degree from NYU proves that anything mountain high enough I keep on climbing towards my goal even if I face obstacles along the way.

I am going to keep on pushing through these negative thoughts about comparing myself to everyone else's success. I am still about 4 months away from my first competition and I have it in my mind I'm going to win a women's bench pressing competition one day.

I couldn't lift 110lbs today off my chest despite the 2 day break due to the fatigue from 50lb bicep curls. I'll take my victory today of bench pressing 2 reps of 100lbs, that lift is getting easier.

145 lb 2 45 plates on each side of the barbell I am going after you and sometime this week will be the day I'll deadlift 200lbs.