Polenta Corn Dogs- (Safe for South Africans, Listeria-Free)

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So my fat ass saw corn dogs on an episode of The Middle and immediately wanted one.
Problem? I'm a South African and those things don't exist here. I'd never even eaten one.

I did what every self-respecting cook would do. I googled a recipe.

• Hitch numero uno: * No such thing as corn meal in these parts.
  So I googled what the hell corn meal should taste like- not surprisingly, it's supposed to taste like corn.

Polenta tastes like corn. I have polenta. Winning.

So I followed a popular recipe I found online and they came out...gritty.

• Hitch numero dos:* Polenta isn't fine enough.

A miraculous brainwave prompted me to throw half a cup in my coffee grinder to achieve a finer texture: Better, but it tasted pretty bland.

This girl needs spice.

Cayenne, White Pepper, Smoked Paprika.

Bingo!

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• Hitch number 3:* (I have no idea why I've been counting in Spanish) The 'American hotdogs' we get here taste awful.
  We've also been struck by a Listeria outbreak so conventional hot dogs are a no-go.

Solution: ARTISANAL FRANKFURTERS from the German Deli. A nod to my heritage even.

We're getting somewhere.

To dip? German sausages need German mustard, but straight out of the beer-shaped mug it comes in is a little strong for dogs. A little mayo and sour cream and we're in business.

Here's the recipe. If any Saffa's are in the hood, give them a crack and let me know what you think.
If any Americans are around with better alternatives to polenta, give me a shout- I'd love to make a more authentic corn dog.

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Ingredients

Makes 8 Mini Dogs (Serves 2)

• 1/2 cup quick Polenta .
• 1/2 cup cake or all-purpose flour
• 1 tbsp cane sugar
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp each paprika, cayenne pepper and white pepper
• Pinch of salt
• 1 egg
• 200 ml buttermilk
• 1 Tablespoon vegetable oil
• 4 dogs- I use Frankfurters because my German heritage dictates I do.
• 8 wooden skewers
• 2 Cups Oil for frying- I use heart-healthy Canola and ruin my arteries by deep frying things anyway.

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Dipping Sauce :

• 2 Tbsp German Mustard
• 1 Tbsp Sour Cream
• 1 Tbsp Mayonaisse

###Method:

1. Add oil to a medium pot and heat to 180 C or 350 degrees F.
2. Pulse Polenta in a coffee grinder or food processor until fine.
3. In a small, deep bowl or mug, mix Polenta, flour, sugar, baking powder, spices and a pinch of salt.
4. Add egg, buttermilk and oil and stir to combine. Batter should leave ribbons if dropped from a spoon.
5. Pat Franks with paper towel to dry, halve and skewer mid-way through the sausage.
6. Test a drop of batter in the oil, if it starts bubbling immediately, it's ready. If it sets your kitchen on fire, it's too hot.
7. Hold dogs by the skewer end and dip into batter, twisting slightly before placing in the oil to ensure a smooth, even coating. Repeat until pot is full of corn dogs but they aren't crowded in there.
8. Fry for 2-3 minutes until brown and floating.
9. Remove and rest on paper towel for a minute (the dog, not you) to drain excess oil.
10. Mix up dipping sauce ingredients and put them in a tiny bowl not nearly big enough to hold the amount of dip you need, but one that makes for prettier pictures because your regular dipping bowl is actually a coffee cup and you are ashamed.
11. Take a tiny bite out of one to photograph the inside.
12. Eat half of them before you're done shooting because you have no self control but convince yourself it's more authentic that way.

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So those are my knock-off corn dogs. I have no idea what the real thing tastes like but these are delicious.
For more delicious recipes of questionable authenticity, check out my other posts:

• Mushroom Risotto, Steak and Zuchinni

• The Crunchiest Chicken Wings on Earth

• Fancy-Ass Victoria Sponge Cookies

• The World's Most Versatile Dough use it to make crusty, delicious Rosemary and Olive Bread

• Spicy Pumpkin Soup

• Thank Duck It's Friday Gin Grapefruit and Tonic Cocktail

• Decadent Chocolate Mousse Cake

• Egg Basics 2: Cheesy Rocket and Tomato Omelet

• Egg Basics 1: The Sexiest Boiled Egg You Ever Did See

or follow me on Instagram, behind the scenes stuff coming soon!