Things we don't talk about but should: #2 Abortion
Fraught with emotion
Abortion is a topic of contention, dividing people all over the world. Not many sit on the fence on this one. Most are either for or against the mere concept of it, often based on nothing more than an emotional reaction. It is a highly emotive subject with polar opposite opinions, equally passionate on both sides for different reasons. Some take to the streets to defend their side, sometimes at great personal cost. However, the majority seem afraid to openly state their views for fear of being judged, even attacked, by people they normally get along with just fine.
So there's a risk in voicing my opinion, I am aware of that. A risk that some people won't like what I'm about to write and won't upvote my posts in the future, and some might leave not-so-friendly comments. However, being relatively new still, the risk of negative effects on relationships is small. I have met a few people here on steemit that I really like though and I would regret to lose (you know who you are, hehe) but I hope it won't affect those new budding friendships. There's something liberating in not knowing where your audience stands on a topic. It allows you to say anything without even a glimpse of worry about how it will be received or perceived. There is freedom and liberation in not caring what people think of you or your work.
What do I want to achieve?
The goal of this post is not to convert anyone into sharing my opinion. Trying to do that would be a futile exercise as there are too many factors that contribute to a person's attitude towards abortion. My goal is to get people to be more accepting and more tolerant of the other side's position. I want people to feel safe and comfortable to tell their friends how they feel about abortion even if there's a chance that friend is sitting on the other side of the fence.
The aim is for people to acknowledge the other side's position without turning against each other, solely based on that one opinion. I want to promote healthy discussion and debate that doesn't turn into nasty arguments, ongoing attacks, or badmouthing behind people's backs. If that can be achieved, the stigma will lift and more people (not only women) can find support when they need someone to talk. Not advice, just good old, non-judgemental support from a person who cares.
Live and let live. Let them feel the...
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A bit of history
I'm no expert on the subject so I'm not going too deep into the history part. But I found this super-interesting article that states that there's pictorial evidence of abortion dating back 4,000 years. Yes, that's an awful long time! According to this timeline, the earliest written records of abortions originate from China and after that, the Egyptians and the Greeks were quite inventive with concoctions for contraception as well as abortion. Terminating unwanted pregnancies was a sheer necessity, as in the example of African women in the 1600s who were subjected to rape by slave owners.
Clearly, the need and desire to control the reproductive process is not a product of modernity but pretty much always existed. For the record, according to the first article, it is even mentioned in the bible. If a pregnant woman was accused by her husband of being unfaithful, a priest would make her drink "bitter water" which would abort a child fathered by another man.
In most parts of the world it was a normal and quite regular part of women's business that was taken care of by midwives. There was no prosecution or ostracising of the woman or the midwife, it was just part of life. It is likely that there was also less emotional distress associated with the procedure in those times.
The big question about whether or not people should have the right to end a pregnancy started around the mid 1800s when moral considerations came into play. Eventually, abortion was criminalised, followed by great ups and downs, forth and back in legislation, depending on where people live. For example, in Queensland, the state in Australia where I live, abortion is legally prohibited to this day. And so we have an ever-growing division between those in favour and those against.
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So where do I stand?
I consider myself a person of high moral standards. However, while growing up in a fairly religious environment (deliberately not going into detail and not naming names), I felt early on that it was wrong for a church or a priest to dictate what the "right" and "wrong" morals were. There were so many restrictions, it couldn't possibly be the way we are meant to live our lives.
I felt that I should have the right to decide for myself what was right and wrong as long as I tried to be a good person which in my books meant that I cherish life, try not to hurt anyone and do my best in the interest of planet Earth and humanity. I didn't always succeed (like many teenagers, I was rather self-absorbed during that time) but even then, I felt strongly that ALL people should have the freedom of choice, the freedom to decide how they want to live their lives, and the freedom to accept the consequences of those choices.
So while I was mostly exposed to pro-life arguments in my early years, I gradually came to favour pro-choice over pro-life and I strongly believe it should be legal and accessible to all women. I support abortion because in more cases than not, it is an absolute necessity in the life of a woman at that point in her life to have that choice.
Opponents will ask, "...but what about the baby, are you okay with the killing of an innocent child?" My answer is yes, in most cases. The problem with this question is that there's a divide in opinion about whether and when a fetus is considered a human being. My opinion is that conception is something that happens so easily (and in soooo many cases unintentionally) that claiming it is a miracle does not make sense.
Life is created, yes, but if the circumstances are clearly wrong to bring a child into the world for that set of parents at that particular time, then they (and particularly the woman) should be able to decide whether or not to proceed. And no, I don't believe that any woman should be made to carry a child to term to save it for other people who might want one. There are plenty of orphans in the world who desperately need a family. Isn't it more humane to safe a child who is already here?
I do have some reservations about late-stage terminations, and in an ideal world I think it would be best if all terminations could be done within the first 8 weeks or so. But there are cases where this isn't possible or the need for a termination becomes evident at a later stage. This will be traumatic enough for parents, especially the mother, without having to face judgement and persecution from society. For the life of me I cannot imagine that any woman would choose to wait having an abortion if it were possible to have it early.
Another thought about life
People can be so passionate about saving an embryo but I'm sure many don't think twice about eating meat. I think it's important to stop sometimes and remember that for every bite of meat you eat, an animal had to die first, often under the most traumatic circumstances. Is it okay to have someone else kill a beautiful animal prematurely, just so you can eat it? Another story for another time...
Conclusion
So basically, my argument is for freedom of choice (and for women's rights which is also a story for another time).
Clearly, I have trouble understanding the other side. However, I know that it is just as hard for the other side to understand my views as it is for me to accommodate theirs. It is hard to challenge deeply ingrained beliefs that are based on religious grounds, family values, or other teachings. And I'm sure many have arrived at those views through experiences later in life just like I arrived at mine. So I won't judge and I won't challenge. I'll simply accept and acknowledge that all views are equally valid.
Based on that premise, I look forward to some respectful, informative and insightful commenting and debate from both sides of the fence.
Thanks for reading this far, awesome steemians! Peace be with you!
(Haha, I nearly said "Praise be" as in "The Handmaid's Tale". Cringe-worthy and eerily related to the above topic, a series worth watching)
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This is a beautifully written piece about a very tricky subject. I agree with a lot of the things you've said. I also appreciate you wanting people to engage in discussion, to feel comfortable speaking without being afraid that someone will judge and shun them for their opinions.
I'm pro choice, myself, for a whole slew of reasons. I don't mind the pro-life argument, and respect where people are coming on that side, but if the child is born, I want to see the pro-lifers just as passionate about that child's future. Okay, they're in the world, now what? If a family/mother isn't set up to support them, or even herself, where's the aid? Can the village step in and help raise the child? In a lot of cases, that doesn't happen. I could keep going on about reasons to respect a woman's right to choose, but you've made so many good points here, I'll let them stand.
I'm looking forward to your thoughts on women's rights! Steem on. :)
Thanks for adding your thoughts on the issue. I agree, the long-term well-being of unwanted children should be paramount as not all are being adopted by loving new parents. There is also a lot of judgement on teenage and unplanned pregnancies (often by the same people who oppose abortion) which contributes to women seeing no other way. If there were a loving, caring village prepared to step in, maybe more women would decide to continue a pregnancy.
The emotional toll on the mother is also often used as an argument against abortion while in truth, the impact of either having to raise a child when not ready, or being forced to carry one to term and then give them up for adoption can be much greater than that. Women are made to feel guilty when, without the moral preaching, most would only feel relief.
Women should be in control and able to decide if or when they can and want to raise a child. This will also reduce neglect and abuse and increase the proportion of happy and loved children in the world.
Yes. So much this.
I think an abortion can be a traumatic thing, for many, but to carry a child, to become a mother and go through the loss of self that comes with it when a woman is not ready or still a child themselves, or barely surviving on their own, or whatever reason... Enough with the guilt. Each of us must make the best choices for ourselves that we can in life.
I will just say i am glad my Mother did not kill me before i was born.
Fair enough, we probably all are. Thanks for commenting, it's important to hear both sides. For myself, I just think that, imagining my mother in certain circumstances (hypothetically), I would have to respect her decision either way.
Though you may not have been here to be able to respect her decision (hypothetically).