You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: Half time team talk - Freewrite
Some really ace dialogue there! One small thing: you changed tense - past first two sentences and then switched to present. It is easily done (I catch myself doing it all the time), but unless it is for effect (like flashbacks, or to illustrate a dream sequence or something) you should stick to one tense during a story, otherwise it jars the reader and pulls them out of the story for a moment.
Posted using Partiko Android
Ah thanks I didn't even notice! That is a big note to self next time round.
It was only the first two lines so wasn't too bad. I've changed tense halfway through a 1000+ word story before. That is a right pain in the arse, trying to put that right! :)
Posted using Partiko Android