Apparently the Future Sucks

This guy came over to my house uninvited to a party I was throwing this past weekend. He said he was was from the future, but other than his stupid glasses, nothing seemed futuristic about him. He called himself a "dinosaur from the future" - which I thought would be a a good name for an indie rock band. Probably a band with good synth vibes, but I digress...

This gentleman seemed harmless, although he brought an empty plastic bag and he began to fill it with the guacamole I had left out for guests. As I suspiciously watched him, he told me that the near future would be one without avocados, and that he was bringing the guac back to the future to do "tests." This really pissed off some of my guests who were left without proper dip for the remainder of the party. I told him that his story seemed far fetched...he started yelling - "are you gonna be the reason for an avocado-less future?"

I didn't know what to say, I just let him grab the guac. He told me I was a hero and that I was gonna get my own hologram statue someday in the future. It seemed far fetched, but I'm a narcissist and having any statue, albeit even a fake one, still makes me feel good.

I was intrigued by this future human, knowing full well that he might just be a guy pretending to be from the future and that he was actually just a lonely guy looking for various dips. I'm not one to judge but I hope the future has avocados. If it does, you know who to thank.