More humor

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She also tells them that there will be no excuse for failing to show up, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
A smart-ass jock in the back of the room pipes up and asks the teacher out loud, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class has all it can do to keep from cracking up, being barely able to stifle its laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "You can write with your other hand then."

A blonde called the police to report that thieves had stripped apart her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Nevermind, I got in the back seat by mistake."