Look what you made me write. Look what you made me write.

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

As a teacher of 14 year olds and the parent of a 10 and 12 year old, I think I have a pretty good excuse to listen to a little bit of crappy pop music.



Taylor Swift is so rich... how rich is she?
Taylor Swift is so rich that she eats conflict free diamonds for breakfast.

Like most other old people who just can't let it go, I prefer old music. In my case that is Industrial, Rap, Techno and metal from the late 80s to mid 90s. So why do I bother listening to current pop music?

First of all, I like to have a little bit of experience with the music my students are listening to. I really enjoy dropping in a line from a top 40 song during my lessons. The kids think it is utterly hilarious when I drop a quick "Yeah, you're lookin' at the truth, the money never lie" in the middle of a history lesson. In addition, every once in a while, there are some pop song lyrics that can teach kids valuable lessons. I like to work those in as much as I can as well.



They see me distribution'... and then combinin'... they try to catch me simplifying.
(Yeah I'm a dork. I try this in math too.)

As far as my own kids go, when we are in the car, I don't feel comfortable listening to my favorite music. Most of my music is incredibly inappropriate for kids. I love aggressive music. I hope some day my kids love it too... but I'm not going to be encouraging them to listen to "F" bombs just yet. If they do that now, how are they going to rebel against me when they are in high school? By listening to classical music? I'll go nuts (classical music is WAY too calm for me)!

It's not like I am forcing pop music down my kids throats either. Much of it is also inappropriate... and terrible. Luckily the stuff they like isn't too bad (in either sense). They tend to like the popular "rock" bands like Fallout Boy and Imagine Dragons. Even more fortunate, is the fact they actually prefer listening to audio books in the car.

See? I have some valid excuses for listening to crappy pop music...

But those are all lies!


The real reason I listen to crappy pop music is because it is my guilty pleasure.

Hello, my name is hanshotfirst and sometimes I have the musical tastes of a 15 year old girl.

Wow! What a relief! Admitting that was like having a huge weight lifted from my soul.

Another lie.


I feel guiltier than ever. I feel so guilty that I just want to curl up with a container of chocolate ice cream, Netflix Pretty Little Liars, cry, and snapchat with my friends all day.



Shhh. Don't tell anyone that sometimes hanshotfirst has the musical taste of a 15 year old girl.

But it's not my fault! Some of that stuff is just so damn catchy!

Take Taylor Swift for example. Although I have never spent a single penny on her music or purposely gone out of my way to consume it, I have found myself singing along to several of her hits including Love Story, Blank Space, and Bad Blood. (Please don't tell teenage me about this. Teenage me would want to punch 46 year old me in the face for this unforgivable transgression).

But it's not my fault! She is a marketing genius. Her songs are like commerical jingles that get stuck in your head. After they are over, I forget I even heard them... until the next time they come on and I rediscover that I know all of the damn words!

But then this happened...



WTF (Why the face)?!


The first time I heard the song, I actually laughed out loud. I honestly thought it was a brilliant joke. I thought she was making fun of "diss songs" that seem to be way too popular right now. I'm not even sure if "diss songs" is the proper terminology. I think that is what it is called when a person "throws shade on" (makes fun of) one of their enemies.

Proper terminology or not, I thought "TSwift" was kidding. Then I started talking to my students about it. According to them, she is being 100% serious... and she is really mad!

Clearly the video is meant to be funny... but not exactly in the way I thought. Apparently she is using a bit of humor to show that the old Taylor Swift is gone and has been replaced by this new tougher version.

What?

You are Taylor freaking Swift. There is nothing tough about you at all. You are about as menacing as a tiny kitten, wearing cute little mittens, while eating a lollipop, and singing the theme song from Friends. In other words, you are 0% tough. And that is ok. You are a money making machine. Continue being cute and printing money. There is nothing wrong with that.



Whose the cute one who is going to diss all of her haters and make them pay for keeping Tay Tay down. You are. You're the cutie who will exact her revenge on Kanye, Kim and Katy.
Yes you are.

Unfortunately, she just couldn't do it. She had to respond to the "haters". Sadly, she is really, really bad at it.

The song Look What You Made Me Do sounds exactly like one of the songs from the made for TV Disney Channel movies that my 10 year old daughter loves. That is actually fine. Those songs are actually pretty catchy ... FOR KIDS SONGS! Here's one now...

(Please don't actually watch this. I won't be held responsible for the 170 seconds you are about to waste.)



Is it terrible? Yeah. But, it could be worse. Does it deserve to be played on a real radio station 12 times a day? My god no!

Tay Tay's attempt at "dissing" someone seems exactly like one of these overproduced silly children's songs. I mean let's take a look at some of my "favorite" lyrics.

How you laugh when you lie
You said the gun was mine
Isn't cool, no, I don't like you

Gun? What? You are Taylor freaking Swift. I'm sure if you ever saw a gun you would wet your $8,000 pants.

Then you follow up a line about firearms with "I don't like you"?

Burn! Street cred fully established!



Ohhhhh. A hot glue gun. Like for bedazzling your fringed jean jacket.
Ok that makes sense now.

I honestly thought this song was written by a 5th grader who was angry at her lunch table for not telling her that "On Wednesdays, we wear pink".

But wait... there's more!

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

Harder than what? The little kitten in the "hang in there" poster?

"Rose up from the dead"??? When did this demise happen? Was it 2016 when she made $170 million? How about 2015 when she made $80 million? Perhaps it was 2014 when she made $64 million? Nope. Must be 2013 when she made only $40 million.



Taylor bravely digging herself out from the Hell of her
$88.5 million average salary over the past four years. Such courage!

Hmmm perhaps she is just being a little over dramatic (no way!!!).

And then there is my absolute favorite line:

I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined
I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!

That is the one that did it. I spit out the Dr. Pepper I was drinking through a Twizzler when I heard that one.

"...list of names and yours is in red underline". I swear a classmate said the exact same thing to me when I stole her paste in 3rd grade. She was really mad. I mean she was so mad that she pulled out the big guns and made a reference to the big cheese, the head honcho, the top dog, the big kahuna, the big man himself...

Santa!!!!


Yep little Susie was so furious that she told me that when Santa checks his list twice, he was going to find me on the naughty one (probably in red underline).



You know what would make double checking this list easier?
If I underlined the naughty ones in red! Brilliant!

I wonder if Susie knows that a super successful singer just plagiarized her intellectual property from 1979? (If Taylor ever joins here, I am so going to flag her for that!)

Then there is that damn hook. Curse you Tay Tay for that catchy hook! You may have the intestinal fortitude of a elementary school student... but gosh darn it, you know how to write a hook that gets stuck in everyone's head.

Let's continue.

I don't like your kingdom keys
They once belonged to me
You ask me for a place to sleep
Locked me out and threw a feast (what?)

Ok if that isn't the plot of a made for Disney TV movie, I don't know what is. Actually, I'm pretty sure it is the exact plot of one (or ten) of them.

Wait. I said that I already hit my favorite line. I think I may have been mistaken. I forgot about this gem...

"I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now"

"Why?"

"Oh, 'cause she's dead!" (oh!)


Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa haaaa haaaa! Oh god. I can't breath! It's too much! Too much! Cause she's dead! Comedy gold! Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa haaaa haaaa!

At this point, I seriously thought I was listening to a Weird Al Yankovic song. It had to be a parody. But no. It's real. Given the complexity and depth of this line, I was disappointed that it wasn't delivered after she held a flashlight under her chin and exclaimed, "The call was coming form inside the house!"



This song is as scary as that time Weird Al got caught with that dead... never mind.

Thank you all for allowing me to rant. I feel much better now.

Wait. Did I just admit to the whole world that I know all the words to this Taylor Swift song? Is this fact recorded on the blockchain for all eternity?

Curse you Taylor Swift!

Look what you made me do!

Images 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

*I honestly have nothing against Taylor Swift. In fact, I probably could have done a post about her tremendous charity work. But this darn song is on all the time and it is driving me nuts!

If you'd like to read about Taylor Swift's charity work, please check out this link. It's pretty impressive.

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That was great. Best thing I've read on Steem in a while. Doubt you'll see this with the 150+ comments, but adding you to my whopping 5c auto-vote list so you'll be averaging bank like TS in no time.

I like how industrial, rap, techno etc are now old people's music ...

Also not ashamed to admit I have recently been listening too ...

Pussycat Dolls - Buttons Ft. Snoop Dog (Hard to hate sexy)
Kiaara - Gold (OMFG that water dripping snare!)
Wafia - 83 Days (This is one of the ones you get strange looks for singing in the supermarket)
Tove Lo - Habits (Stay High) - Hippie Sabotage Remix (What a film clip ... duality of the party life ... so good, so bad)
Mike Posner - I Took a Pill in Ibiza (Original Mix) (see above: pills, parties, sex, success and depression)

As the above list shows, pop music has actually come a long way IMO, it's becoming very eclectic. I also find it hilariously ironic that they remixed Mike's depressing ballad about the music industry chewing him up and spitting him out into a PLURRY ecstatic Ibiza tropical house banger

Thanks for the post!

PS for the record I came up on Sepultura and Slipknot, followed by industrial-tech like Ophidian and The Outside Agency, and in my later years dirty af Australian criminal rap like Tornts:

lol u changed ur name to BullEOS nice move hah yeah Pop music is now just Youtube and Youtube is all about the Video, the music is still important and youtube has music too its funny i dunno why peopel ever thought youtuibe wouldnt dominate with music as well, peopel like staying on one website lol youtube is amazing when u consider its vastness, u have every music video you coudl ever want on youtube and you cango through decades of music its actualy very very incredible like an Akashic Records, it's very inspiring, makes me proud to be a human in 2017 when i think of Youtube and smartphones, just the technology, and how they made trillions of dollars for people without even having bitcoin or crypto currency yet, hah, so imagine when crypto has a few decades like "the internet" did, oh man so mcuh stuff to think about

i wonder if any steemit users will try to use steemit earnings to create Music videos, would be great to see Dtube and Dsound.audio take off in popularty, amazing how far we have come since the 1980s

well there is no now without the 1980s...today is just the 1980s with stuff built on top....the 1980s were our economic peak, the 1990s have a higher stock market numbers but that doesnt measure how well the overall economy was doing....we have No idea what that was like....in the 1980s you could just find a Job anywhere, it was really different, everyone had a social safety net, you REALLY had to fuck up to be an outcast....you could always find work, people just gave out jobs and there was higher trust, probably closer to 1950s level trust than today, i mean the 1980s were only a few decades away from the 1950s....look at Robocop, look at the scene with the deaf gas station attendant studying calculus, that gas station and the roads the whole of detroit looked nice and high tech and man LCD and Lasers were all coming out, something about the way the 80s electronics were was just like here we are, the glory of technological achievement in this black Box, the CD rom and having digital Music, it is so cool, the birth of what we have now, it makes you cry, it is vaporwave, it really is special it's the birth of the new humanity and some people call it transhumanism but there's nothing evil about a smartphone and its spiritual predecessor the walkman and how in the 80s something like a smartphone was the dream that they all knew would eventually happen, but its really amazing the synthesizers the music for example it all changed the digital technology was early but music was one of those first things you could really do with digital machines, its crazy to look up the stuff they had in the 80s and how it was the first time that stuff had come out! It was really advanced for the time, that digital multimedia tech all started in the 80s and it evolved during many of our lifetimes, wow if you were born in the 80s you know how incredible it feels to get to have been grown up with all the amazing technological achievements that are at the center of the world even at 2017 computers and the internet dominate all....the internet is the singularity.....it's really cool that we all still use that word "the internet" although people dont have a need to talk about "the internet" as separate from the the "real" world" funny how they talk about "irl" or "in real life" as opposed to "the internet" which is the virtual world, but its just as real it still exists too! Its just insane how we are making this distinction between the internet and the real world when the internet IS the real world and the internet encroaches upon more of our lives, so we already live inside the internet, the wifi signals they reach all our cities all our human territories, the whole world is the internet, physical places have geotagged forums where you can leaves messages like FireChat or ZombieChat which let you leave messages at a GPS tagged spot so when you are physically somewhere you can leave virtual messages that other people can see if they come to that spot, it's really a great way to make the regular world more interesting, adding a virtual overlay, anyway it's an amazing world we now live in, we have already accomplished SO MUCH and we should step back and realize how much amazing art we can produce now god imagine all the psychedelic alex grey type music videos we will have, where people literally just try to visualize their DMT Visions lol it's like there is no end to how fancy you can make some video art, you can always keep adding geometry and maybe theyll even create some fractal algorythms to make some very nice patterns like psychedelic clothes that change shape, well anyway we shou;d just keep looking to fractals when it comes to the possibilities of what we can now make, i mean we never had the 3d programs we have now but now we can make some very cool looking stuff and you could spend an eterntity coming up with all the possible things you can make. So video games are the future so get your VR Goggles ASAP

Life is truly transformed with technology..and its getting better with the passage of time...am glad #steemit brings to our notice all the best things the world has to offer...always feeling your love @ackza ...thanks a million

LOL. Thats for the kind words! And that you for letting me know I'm not alone. I still feel guilty... but less lonely. ;)

I'm going to say what I feel about this type of video clips are making these young videos of everything but Christ, which is a primitive, meaningless, nothing in this life, and those who make these songs or clips is to deepen the ideas of nihilism and confusion and confusion will not win viewers of these wreaths but this

Awesome post!
I, too, am guilty of loving songs that make me happy despite their intended demographic.
Here's another one to add to your repertoire of shame if it's not already there 😂 🤜🤛

Enjoy! 🤝

LOL. A friend of mine bought nee a Ke$ha poster as a joke. I was seriously happy. Please don't tell anyone .

LOL!
Your secret is safe with me...
Have another 😀

These videos will not get the person from behind but the sense of loss and inner emptiness stripped of any sense

Ya you can just admit it you like to shake it off.

When Taylor Swift's Love Story Song was launched. I really fell in love with her, she was looking very beautiful in the white gown and the castle in which the song was shot was amazing. None can deny her beauty and the "fearless" album from her really was a big big hit and still its songs are in my mind.

Katy Perry went to cannibalism tho; so train wrecks all over.
This is a lovely mashup of Blank Space and Style.

Music they say is the food for human soul..it will always be...one good thing music does to me,l forget my worries especially when l listen to a good one...indeed life without music will be a complete mistake...but heres my words...lets be careful with what we listen.We all have ears to listen but should choose wisely and purposely what we listen to in that whatever gets into our ears has a great impact on our lifestyle...its always a great pleasure #steemit brings to us wonderful people with such great inspiration..your words are so great @ackza and such an awesome steemian to have..thanks for sharing these words too @hanshotfirst ...you guys are so amazing...steem on.upped

But I like classical music...
... and country...

You go joe! If you like it I love it! Lol. I almost added that they could torture me with country... but I didn't want to offend. Look what you made me do!

Enjoy the Four Seasons, one of my favorite. This is just a plug.


Not my favorite C&W song, but I really like it. It's kind of mesmerizing, heartbreaking and encouraging all at the same time. It's one of those songs that, if you don't hear it all, you didn't hear it.

Bet you got a little misty over that one!
This one's sweet.

And, this... well, this one I sing to the little lady once in awhile. Don't judge me. ;)

I knew that was Conway Twitty without clicking on it. What does that say about me? LOL!

Heh, says that at least you've been exposed to good music, so you don't have that excuse!
;-)

You sound like my grandparents but for the most part this opinion seems right to me, I like listening old music as well, for example, this track - The Walker Brothers - The Shine Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore

The song is terrible, Taylor Swift, is not. She is without a doubt, an amazingly talented woman. She has built a strong, sincere, seriously sensational brand (it took me way too long to build in that alliteration). Between her songs, her concerts, her clothing brand, her public image, and just about everything else she touches, she is a true role model and should be applauded for her successes.

So much of what she has built was effectively built ON HER OWN. Do people honestly realize how ridiculously difficult that must have been?

Anyway, I haven't, nor am I going to go out and buy any of her albums or clothing simply for this fact, but she is someone I admire. There are times when I wish she would "loosen up" a bit, but I'm not in her shoes of being a role model and holding myself to nearly as high of standards that she clearly holds herself to. Also, I don't have to deal with the paparazzi and media and constant second guessing and attention from the public.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I agree with you. Tay Tay is A-OK in my book!

I agree with you 100%. I actually felt a little guilty ripping on this song so I added the charity piece at the end. She is a genius. She has shown musicians that they don't need to bow down to record companies. But I'm still confused why she released this one. If she ever comes out and says it was a joke I would give her a standing ovation for her comedic genius.

@hanshotfirst It's great to see that people are surprised why the biggest pop stars make such music videos. A lot of these videos can't be explained if you simply watch them and many, many of them are beyond creepy for a silly, mainstream, teenage pop song. Like Cyrus' Baby Talk video... Jesus Christ.

"She has shown musicians that they don't need to bow down to record companies." That's way too optimistic, sadly I don't believe they have much freedom. These stars wouldn't be successful anymore if they would truly go against the record companies.

Michael Jackson is probably the best example. We all know what happened to him. All the rumours, accusations and then the paranoia he faced for years and then died. His family members are convinced he was murdered.

I've seen this really often in the last 5-10 years. Musicians getting some hit piece against them or they disappear from magazines, etc. after they speak up against record companies or the industry. Or even forced to hospitals for psychic evaluations as it happened with Kanye.

Mainly we can see the bright side of being a famous musician but I wouldn't want to be in their place.

I love this. I think parents have a huge impact on their kids music taste and I believe music can change your life. Parents should always show their kids music from their time. Kids nowadays growing up with pop music that all sounds the same need to be cultured and understand the history of music!

Haha, yeah. Unfortunately I don't think she made it as a joke. Although, she has been known to poke fun at herself every now and again ... I just don't think this was one of those times.

If it were a joke, it's epic for sure!

хороший пост)))