Breaking Fucking News

Alert levels:

Defcon 5 (lowest) - Your friend, who sold 3 months ago, starts texting you again about BTC

Defcon 4 - A co-worker yo've never spoken to, texts you to ask about "this Bitcoin stuff"

Defcon 3 - Mom texts you "Bitcoin is going up in value"

Defcon 2 - Grandma texts you "how do you buy cough drops with this bitcoin thing?"

Defcon 1 - Your ex-gf, with whom you had a viciously bad break up and who swore to never ever even acknowledge you, texts you "hey, I kind of miss you, what's this bitcoin thing? How many do you have? lol"