An Ode To A Guillotine

in #funny6 years ago

The Good Ol' Days

September 10, 1977 ... a day that will live in infamy. 

On that day, the guillotine fell for the last time in Marseille. Once an iconic symbol of France, like the Eiffel Tower and lingerie, the device was destined for the dustbin of history as, in 1981, the French abolished capital punishment. No thing is free and for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The price for humanity was insanity as the French unwittingly pried open the lid of Pandora's Box.

Relieved of the repercussions of being the Village Idiot, every town square in the country was soon overrun by vermin, the likes of which France had not experienced since plague-ridden rats had done the same in the days of Nostradamus. 

France was overrun ... by Mimes. 


In every other art form you could name, there is an intent to elevate a particular talent: Singers sing; painters paint and writers write. Dressed like escapees from an asylum, and behaving in a manner in keeping with their dress-code, the only thing these lunatics elevate is one's blood pressure. If ever there was an element of society worthy of being forcibly removed from the gene pool, surely it is Mimes. 

Hyperbolic-gesticulation and rage-inducing over-acting, all in the service of becoming the center of attention ... even if the result is a barrage of rotten tomatoes. Let not the derision of your audience effect your performance. Look, I'm a poet, so it's not like I'm railing against wasting countless hours on non-utilitarian endeavors. But come on, there's got to be a point where the rest of society becomes justified in boiling you alive in a giant pot.    


"Papa, why is that man trying to climb an imaginary ladder?"
"To get over an imaginary wall."
"Why is he trying to get over an imaginary wall?
Because he's an idiot.

We Are ... "Artistes"

Artistes ... that insufferably self-rightous segment of Lefty would-be intellectuals, who are convinced that their expressiveness is an existential gift to the species. That everyone should be thankful for their willingness to dig ever deeper in an effort to discover those last nuggets of weirdness overlooked by the pioneers that preceded them. And, as the goal of such luminaries seems to be maximizing the annoyance of their fellow man, Miming is their Mother-Lode.

While Lefty lunacies have a long tradition of being birthed in France, they also have a long history of escaping its confines. The damn shit spreads. And so now we have these acolytes of the absurd all over the planet. And, given that Lefty lunacies have a way of cross-pollinating, we now have a potpourri of intersectionality-themed pantomimers.

The radical feminists were quick to jump on board so as to ensure that men would not possess a monopoly on the moronic. For black folks, doing "white face" has become de rigueur and the fat acceptance movement and transgenders have staked their claims as well. Interestingly, this land-grab for a piece of purgatory has sparked an intra-intersectional brawl as each sub-community of Mimes condemns the others for their "privilege." As a backlash to the backlash, gay white French Mimes are accusing the whole kit and kaboodle of "cultural appropriation:" 

"This was our gig from the get go." 



Not to be excluded from the narrative, enter Zombie-Mimes from Stage Left. Apparently, being either a zombie ... or a mime ... proved insufficient to express the peculiarities of their "self-identities." And so, in an effort to break free from their "social constructionist" shackles, these crown jewels of humanity have taken to soundlessly limping and leg-dragging around town with faux axes buried in their heads. If I'm being honest, I actually think this is a positive development, a step in the right direction so to speak. It's as if they subconsciously understand what their fate ought to be. An acceptance of the consequences of their karma.

Courtesy of Soul Stealer

Why do we put up with this shit? Well, some people don't. And good for them for taking the initiative.


Respecting myself, I'm doing everything within my power to turn back the tide. To that end, I leave you with a poem, "An Ode to a Guillotine:"

An Ode to a Guillotine

A blade of sharp steel, brings end to Ordeal,
Ordeal that all have endured,
Town squares they're destroyed, and all left annoyed,
By those with minds them unmoored.

This lunatic fringe with noggins unhinged,
Mimes, they drive us insane,
They crowds horrify, and children make cry,
Blasphemy of bullshit, a bane.

Such artistic love is indicative of,
Heads in need of beheading,
This plague from it, France; no more second chance,
Must stop it further from spreading.

To be it a Mime, one commits it a crime,
And crimes deserve what they get,
To tell it a story with no oratory,
Deserves … a bloody vignette.

*****

To all you insufferable Mimes inclined to respond to this article, remember: NO WORDS ... visually expressive emojis only. 

Quill


*****

An Aside:

More than a month ago, one of the truly great curation groups on Steemit, @ComedyOpenMic, was forced to "close shop" due to lack of delegation and curation support (all the Whales are leasing their SP to bidbots instead of curating). They ended up experimenting with distributing WhaleShares as contest prizes instead of STEEM/SBD (I'm not sure if they're still doing this). The fact that the blockchain cannot organize itself to even support "making people laugh" speaks volumes about the state of affairs. If you're a Whale, go float this boat ... you'll become famous in the process and engender the gratitude of a great many of your fellows. People like to laugh.

*****

All images are linked to source, are QuillFire originals or are modifications of images in the public domain. Videos and images may also be parodies of original works, therefore relying upon applicable exemptions from copyright. 


You guys know the QuillDrill. Be verbose ... but articulate.

And remember ...

Go Love a Starving Poet

For God's sake ... they're starving!



 

Sort:  

@quillfire

the Eiffel Tower and lingerie

A phallic symbol and lingerie in one sentence and you want

NO WORDS ... visually expressive emojis only

Ahem....

@fionasfavourites,

Touché.

Of course, such insight begs the question: What does it say about the mind that so readily (and rapidly) discovers such metaphoric meanings?

Hmmm. :-)

Quill

@quillfire

What does it say about the mind that so readily (and rapidly) discovers such metaphoric meanings?

It's sharp and incisive. Like la guillotine

Fiona

Posted using Partiko Android

@fionasfavourites,

Indeed ... amongst the very sharpest I've come across on the blockchain.

Quill

Well, I was close to guessing the content of your next post.
It had France, The Blade and Whales (somehow).
I was going to add yesterday that we'd need a bigger blade, if that was your purpose.
I want to echoe your plea: People want and need to laugh. People also need to have freedom to choose what is offensive and just ignore it and embrace what they find amusing or even insightful without having to deal with prudish objections.
One of the legacies of the bolivarian revolution is that it extinguished all humorous TV shows, starting with Radio Rochela, a show any venezuelan over 30 remembers and misses. They went to far as erasing the whole TV Channel that produced it (RCTV) and made sure the example would keep any wannabe satirist in line.
I do not have anything against Mimes in particular (Chaplin was one, sort of, and left his mark), but humor must have substance; it must want to shock and make people think about it after they're done laughing.

@hlezama,

As usual, great comment.

One of the things one notices about Leftist Utopian Revolutions (all of them) is a complete lack of humor. Everyone has to be morose all the time. No laughing allowed ... or at least not aloud. And satirists, zero tolerance. I am highly suspicious of any group of people who cannot look at themselves and find something about which to smile ... they're not being realistic, or perhaps more accurately, they're not being honest.

Quill

And the funny thing is that these authoritarian rulers tend to be such idiots that they make it very hard not to joke about them.
Humorist, Laureano Marquez has said repeatedly that the chavistas made it really hard for humorists to make a living. Not so much because of the censorship, but 1) because they produce so much hilarious material it is hard to catch up, and 2) because what they do in real life is so stupidly funny, there is nothing original professional humorists can do to make the jokes. These politicians are already living jokes

@hlezama,

Henrry, it's true.

Hyperbole is the indispensable weapon of satirists ... but how does one exaggerate something that's already unbelievably exaggerated? It stops being plausible and people just groan.

Stupidity so stupid ... that it trips ass-backwards into brilliance. :-)

Quill

To all you insufferable Mimes inclined to respond to this article, remember: NO WORDS ... visually expressive emojis only.

( ˘▽˘)っ♨ヘ(⊙ω⊙)

GrouchoMarx.jpg

And regarding the @ComedyOpenMic call out... yeah, I always wondered why humor, comedy, irony & sarcasm has been always so despised & underestimated in the crypto world & blockchain realms. };)

@por500bolos,

Hey Por.

Where do you find your artwork? :-)

You know, I really miss @ComedyOpenMic and I miss the interaction with the crew that swam in those waters. How can any media platform, of any kind, think it's "in business" without a robust "comedy section?" For Heaven's Sake, comedy is one of the most in-demand genres ... everywhere.

Quill

Where do you find your artwork? :-)

Well, basically, from a large gallery of itinerant old pics already stored and scattered across many drained HDs & memory sticks as testimony of my ancient hunter's adventures through the information superhighway. ;)

How can any media platform, of any kind, think it's "in business" without a robust "comedy section?

That's exactly what I wonder myself. And I've arrived to the conclusion that investors, stakeholders and all those big dogs with plenty do$h spilling from their pockets, have no sense of humor whatsoever.

I suspect, their sense of humor and sense of smell are only apt to sniff each other ass while they snarl reciprocally.

lunacies have a way of cross-pollinating, we now have a potpourri of intersectionality-themed pantomimers.

HA!

I've never dealt with a mime, but those pesky street performers that talk just the same as they do, have begged me for money for a sly performance and a kiss on the cheek that I was not so welcomed. I have no idea how many those lips have kissed... just that day.... -_-

@foxyspirit,

Foxy, I cannot tell a lie ... I would have tried to kiss you too. You're a cutie.

Quill

You are too kind Quill. The charm of a poet or learned from a Mountie?

Haha ... for once we are in agreement ... over mimes at least. But the block chain is doing just fine and growing. If you stopped staring at whale blow holes for just one second, you would get that.

We have fun, we have humor and we have merriment. And no mimes in sight. Really Paul. My experience here is very rewarding and my account is growing and I have plenty of larger accounts upvoting and commenting.

The bidbots are a necessary evil and having ours out in the public for anyone who wants to waste some SP but maybe gain a few followers is a damn sight better than what goes on on other social media platforms. I don't go to the trending page and rarely even see bid-botted posts. My feed is my own and I get to see the people I follow in it. The feed space on other platforms has become staked territory and I see maybe a handful of my friends and mainly boosted and sneaky boosted posts.

It is a pay to be seen world and social media platforms are full of boosted posts and botted likes. We get the flack because we don't hide it with off-site bots.

Steemit is not the worse. It is world's better. It is the BEST. We gotta start singing our praises and not taking ownership of universal problems with the internet. It's NOT good business. But if you are going to continue. MIME it instead.

My own poetic offering on the evils of the world

https://steemit.com/steemitschoolpoetry/@prydefoltz/a-low-down-sunny-day-dilemma-100-day-poetry-challenge-day-11-d-pends

Loading...

Methinks ye doth protest too much. Mimes taste great and look real cute at the top of a glass.

@blockurator,

Admittedly, I left out the "tasting great" part for the sake of message congruence. I didn't want people salivating as I march the buggers off to the guillotine ... keeping it classy. :-)

Quill

Okay, well, you could have included the "less filling" part. ;-)

@blockurator,

A fair critique.

Block, you are my conscience ... keeping me honest. :-)

Quill

I didn't even know mimes were still a thing, but yeah, I also never understood why they were a thing in the first place. The guillotine sounds a tad excessive but then again how could a lawyer defend a client who won't talk to him? Case dismissed!

Love the poem btw, it would have been so dope if @poetsunited and @comedyopenmic were still around to pass the sentence. R.I.P

@ange.nkuru,

The guillotine sounds a tad excessive ...

So, what are you saying? A firing squad? Hanging and quartering?

Fair enough, I'm open-minded. :-)

Quill

The French have them and we have the tories

@wales,

Like Syphilis, it's spread.
.

.
Pretty soon they're going to be riding their pretend bicycles to a pub-near-you where they will spend hours upon hours drinking pretend beer while shooting pretend billiards. Wait and see if that doesn't drive you to madness.

Most people don't know it, but that's actually what happened to King Lear. Mimes accompanied the French Army (psychological warfare) to English soil and it was that that pushed him over the edge. :-)
.

.

*"My God ... the mimes are everywhere."

Quill