Descriptive Satire: This Is Why The Plants Are Going To Rebell!

DISCLAIMER: Contains graphic imagry. Please don't take this very seriously. Fruits, veggies, nuts and the like are very healthy to eat and we must eat something to stay alive, after all. Also, I am an omnivore; though, I detest much of the cruelty that's rampant in the food industry today. Also, try reading it with a dramatic tone.

Enjoy this grossly exaggerated descriptive satire I made about vegetation 'cruelty' in an analogy to animal cruelty.

Have you ever seen somebody eating a salad outdoors? Oh the savagery! Think about how all those other plants must feel being forced to witness their leafy kin being diced and stabbed by wicked silver pitchforks before being stuffed into gaping maws and ground to a mushy pulp before being consumed. The screams, the wails, all falling upon unhearing ears. The plant kin are unable to help their doomed rootkin in any way. They cannot even flee from the palpable horrors at hand; for they are incarcerated in the loamy sepulchers of their ancestors.

Some of the leafkin are even forced to feed from hoses that are routinely doped with addictive performance enhancing stimulants; uncounted numbers of poor souls subjected to this treatment are carelessly overdosed and suffer for days before finally withering lifelessly to the ground where they rot and are consumed in cannibalistic frenzies powered by growth drugs.

We only keep the pretty ones alive while we starve, poison, or behead the undesirable ones. There are even facilities that forcefully breed the plant kin to fit our image of perfection; some go so far as to manipulate the DNA directly in a lab which can result in horrifying mutated abominations. The poor plant kin must be fluttering in fear of the next culling or genocide; they wonder, will they be next to go. There is no volunteering for tribute allowed. Friends and families alike are ruthlessly torn apart. We keep them segregated and corralled using solitary confinement terra-cotta pots and stone walls that reach deep into the ground. Some of the 'herds' are 'cleansed' of unwanted genders and races.

They are commonly kept in line with cruel steel clippers and fearsome machinating mechanical blades that wail gleeful wretched noises as they slice limb after limb from these poor defenseless lifeforms. What has the plant kin ever done to us to deserve this miserable fate?

Woe, I can no longer eat of the plant kin now that I have seen the light! Forevermore I must drink filtered water made via hydrogen/oxygen combustion and eat lifeless dirt.

The end

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