Cruisin for a Bruisin

I haven't have time to write my introduction yet but wanted to take a minute to tell this story from my teenage years.

I grew up in the country covered with large hills and small dunes. One day I decided it would be a great idea to build an abnormally steep bicycle ramp and ride this old banana-seat bike as fast as I could toward it. I had a good 5% gradient to work with and the first two attempts went relatively well, the front tire crashing down followed by the rear. We had an old '73 Dodge pickup painted an ugly shade of yellow parked 50 feet in front of the ramp and slightly to the right. After an exhilarating moment in mid air I came down close enough to land and smack the truck with my side as I tried to turn.

Thinking that was danger close I changed my trajectory to land in an open area of our gravel parking lot. This time I must have accounted for the bike's weight incorrectly and failed to navigate the mid-air portion of my flight.

The front tire again made contact with the dusty ground but after a moment I realized I was riding a unicycle. There was little else to do but release the handle bars and glided like SuperMan without the cape. After 15 ft of horizontal fight (seriously, I measured it), I noticed my little sister beginning to turn toward the house in slow motion and faintly heard my bike flipping end over front.

As I returned my focus to what lay ahead I began to feel my head start to dip, this was followed by me legs as my horizontal frame began its decent. For some reason I did not put my arms out to brace for impact, I simply maintained my airplane like shape with arms extended from my side.

The amazing feeling of weightlessness was quickly replaced with a grinding sound as my body made even contact with the ground, i.e. gravel.... and promptly bounced. I landed a second time as my thin teenage frame cease its forward movement. A strange moment of silence ensued before I let out a hellacious scream. Did I mention I was wearing shorts, but no helmet...

Good times.
Hope this made you laugh.