Funny Quotes

Never ever hold in a fart- it will migrate to your brain, and that is where stupid ideas come from.

A best friend is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth it brings.

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

If someone calls you ugly, the best comeback is always "Excuse me, I am not a mirror".

Zombies eat brains, so in the zombie apocalypse, you're safe.

I wanna be like a catterpillar, eat, sleep, and wake up beautiful.