Post-International Women's Day: Finding the 'extra’ in your 'ordinariness’

March 8 is one special day that bears relevance to women all over the world and even to men. It's one day that ladies can say solely belongs to them. It's International Women's Day. Just like one would terribly pamper a favourite in-law that comes to visit every once a while, Women's Day is usually caressed by the womenfolk and also by men who love their women.

The entire day is known to be splattered with events that adulate women who are pioneers in their fields or women who don't just give a darn about nothing in life. Eccentric women, artistic women, scientific women, women of activism, women of firsts etc are all acknowledged on this particular day.

Ordinary women of little or no consequence YET are often celebrated on the social media pages of friends and family as if it were a birthday. But after this, nothing more is done. No big cocktail party, no dinner or artistic fest celebrating the ordinary female artistes whose names are yet to ring double in the ears of people.

I don't want to go overboard or anything like that, but I get the feeling that while International Women's Day is one of the best things to have happened to the female folks, it is very possible that it just as well creates an angst amongst the ordinaries of the flock. Unlike Father's Day or Mother's Day or Valentine's Day that spreads its fine sheets across many individuals, International Women's Day can be very tricky, somewhat like World Peace Day or something like that. It is not as general as it purports.

This is not me trying to come off as a cynic, but then, I think seeing 21st century female idols celebrated and depicted as symbols of the general women folks does something to the heart of a lady, a singer or writer or make-up artist or stylist or housewife, who is barely trying hard to stay afloat. It makes such one think, “I really would like to be her, to become the face of International Women's Day in any space at all."

So, you might not exactly be an Adichie, Beyonce, Hilary Clinton, Tara Durotoye, Mo Abudu, Meghan Markle, Kate Middleton, Kylie Jenner, Michelle Obama, Linda Ikeji, ladies who get to climb up podiums and deliver rending speeches on behalf of women like themselves.

But regardless of what you are right now; regardless of how normal or regular you think you may be, I would like to believe that every girl always has an extra to her; something that stands out conspicuously and makes them just as good as themselves only. It might be as big as the singing prowess of Jennifer Hudson or Rihanna or it might just be as fickle as the adorable angelic gangster vibe of Cardi B.

And then, this 'extra’ might be nothing more than the shy, silent determination of a Togolese girl who was just brought to Lagos to hustle as a maid in a Buka. This girl, with her impressionable shy attitude but witty, uncanny brain ends up making enough money to yank off from being enslaved and lead a different life full of small successes.

Whatever the case, International Women's Day should not just be a day to look up to those who embody the ideals of woman survivors or girl power, it should also be a day to look for within and find that extra within us as women. We might not all be pioneers, warriors, that blend of machoism and fragility; we might not all get to be at high pedestals where men lick the very places where our feet have stepped on, but we can all be extraordinary.

So, whoever it is you are; whatever your background, begin to make International Women's Day about you. Sure enough, this year's celebration might have been done and dusted. But if and when we live to be women again next year, then take hold of the day and find reasons to celebrate yourself. If that is going to be the case, then you must have had these things checked and ticked before then:

1.You must have found your passion, that little extra to you that colours your life however dull it may be.

1. You must have made strides towards stretching and expanding. Such strides may be as big as the one done by Linda Ikeji who borrowed a $1000 to keep her magazine business afloat or it could be such an effort like that of Genevieve Nnaji who decided to move past being a pretty faced actress to being a director. Even kore, the efforts of people like Olajumoke Orisaguna who left her hometown to come to Lagos to sell bread or that of Raybekah, the girl Wizkid followed on Instagram, cannot be ignored. Your name might not be known for a long long while, but still, you need to keep making strides, however small.

2. You must be of local relevance to your community. You might not be able to to do big charity projects like Meghan Markle or Aisha Buhari (because hell no, you are not married to a husband of their calibre). But you can always help anyone around who is in dire need of what you have. You think the world forgets such small acts of kindnesses. Well, I don't think it does.

3. Find love. For every one woman, there is a man out there who will see her, love her and make her the heroine of his fantasies. She would be the brightest, shiny star in his sky; the tokens in his Trybe wallet; she would be the reason why International Women's Day makes any sense at all. Look out for that man. He might not be a husband, he might just be a friend - it's your call. And if you don't find one such person till March 8, 2020. Well, never mind, you can be the heroine in your own story. You are a woman; anything is possible.

This post was cross shared on Trybe and Whaleshares