Weak lover.

Nicole?

Alot of times I've sat and admired this name Nicole, at a point I'd imagine what really was going through mom or pop's heart to have carved out such a finesse name as Nicole, my Nike!

Or maybe they had an idea of a person you'd grow up to be. Strong, resilient, intelligent, welcoming and open to both ideas and new ways of living.

Nicole? Oh how sweet the name sounds, the calmness it brings to the heart when called, it's warmth embroiled around it. Nike! I can't even get enough of it.

Perhaps, I have to keep calling it now for as long as my heart yearns for it because when it's weak, i'd seat and mesmerize in retrospect of how calm and the warmth it brought to my life when I did mention it. Nicole, oh what a name!

The other day I watched you smile in one of those pictures of you. The smile you put out was like a fuel refueling a lost hope, that have longed missed its way to calmness.

I won't forgive myself for not telling you that day, perhaps I was over excited couldn't hold back the feeling of sharing it.

But as they say, it's better late than never is it? So here I am again, effortlessly telling you of how beautiful you are and when I stare at you, calm is all I feel and when you call me babe? I seriously can't wish for something better at that time.

Dear lover,
I'm afraid that is the person I have allowed you to know and see. Have you taken time to see the hurt in my eyes. The way I hesitate when you say you love me? I'm not but a wounded and broken girl. As much as I would love to love you it's so painful I can't let myself. You're too perfect a gentleman for me. Too fragile a man I could hurt. I'm too scared to love. I belong to the school of thought that say love is for the week. Can you be with a girl who has been molested? A girl who is wanted by older men? married men?

Perhaps you would say you can change her. Change they say is constant. But many have tried and failed. This girl can't keep a promise. This girl is scared of commitments. This girl at the same time doesn't want to loose you. This girl is ready to be crazy with you. She's even ready to try kinky stuff. She's ready to do all the things she hates for you.

Note that this girl could have been a smoker, this girl is a semi drunk. This girl could be a pimp. This girl may be a prostitute. So why love? Why does love tend to match two unlikely people. Two strangers who haven't met but the whole world could swear they have.

This girl is a weak lover.

P. S : not original pictures and it's a semi fiction.