A young girl writes a letter to her parents - sorry I forgot to include very funny letter yesterday - well I am 90 something

in #girl4 years ago (edited)

The parents saw their 19 year old daughter off to university. They received a letter saying how well she was settling in, then nothing.
After some weeks of increasing anxiety they received a letter.

Dear Mum and Dad

As you know I've been at university for three months now. I must first apologise for not writing to you sooner. Please excuse my thoughtlessness, but things have been hectic on campus to say the least.

It might be a good idea if you sit down. If you are sitting down you may want to lie down.

The good news is, that just like you said, The Freshers Ball was fantastic. An unforgettable experience, and I got to meet a lot of new people. Paramedics, policemen and of course some wonderful doctors who tell me that my skull fracture is well on the way to healing.

I don't actually remember jumping from my bedroom window, although when he visited me in hospital, the Chief Fire Officer did praise my presence of mind, and said that he'd never seen a Hall of Residence go up quite so quickly - even with 30 little Christmas lights so close to the curtains.

Fortunately, my fall was broken by Ben, the night-watchman. He said I wasn't at all heavy in just my underwear and even carried me to his room in the Gate House to wait for the ambulance.

Would you believe it took nearly an hour for them to arrive? Luckily Ben's a qualified First Aider and was able to give me the kiss of life and also massage my heart several times to keep the blood circulating.

Anyway, until they rebuild the Halls, Ben has kindly invited me to share his flat with him.

Some of the other girls have been a little horrid to me recently, but I put that down to the shock of the fire and the fact that they're living in tents in the carpark.

Ben is a lot younger in outlook than he appears in real life and we've fallen deeply in love with each other and plan to marry.

We haven't set a date yet, but it will have to be soon if I don't want to walk down the aisle with my bump showing.

Oh, yes, by the way, I'm pregnant. Isn’t it marvellous news. I know how much both of you are looking forward to being grandparents because you talk of little else to my elder sister, Louise.

Has she told you yet that she can't have children? It's so sad but, as they say, every cloud has a silver lining and I know you will welcome my baby and give it the love devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no fire at the Halls, I did not fracture my skull, I am not engaged or even pregnant. There is no man in my life and as far as I know Louise can have children.

However I am only getting a Third in History and a Fail in Philosophy and I wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.

Your loving daughter,

Janie.


The Hot and Cold technique lesson

Compared with what the parents were fearing, poor exam results were a sense of relief.

One of the many stories that illustrate lessons from the book ‘How to Persuade and Influence’ by Phillip Hesketh. Powerful techniques to influence and tip decisions in your favour.

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